You'll Find A Way
by chickendxckhead
Summary: Future. A story told from Santana's POV as Brittany moves on. Eventual Brittana. Quinntana friendship. Rated M for language and later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! Okay so this is my first ever story so please try and be kind. However, all constructive criticism is welcome :). Enjoy!**

_**You'll Find A Way**_

**Chapter One**

'Mama, look!'

I took the orange juice out of the fridge and turned around to face my four year old daughter who was excitedly waving a damp sheet of paper at me.

'That's great, Talia!' I said as I inspected her picture. Through the mountains of colourful glitter glue, I saw three stick figure drawings. 'And who are they?'

'This one is me and this one is Sophia and that one is Amelia,' Natalia told me proudly as she pointed to each of the scribbles. Sophia and Amelia were my friends' daughters. Sophia was the youngest daughter of Finn and Rachel Hudson while little Amelia Rose Anderson was the apple of Kurt and Blaine's eyes. Together they were a bunch of terrors. 'Do you like it, mama?'

'I love it, baby. You can show it to your mommy when she gets here,' I replied as I softly stroked her hair. I quickly glanced at the clock. 'In fact, she'll be here soon so go and get your stuff ready.'

I watched Natalia and she ran into the living room and started shoving her toys into a bright pink rucksack. I know I'm biased but she is by far the cutest kid I've ever seen. She was the perfect mix of her parents; tan skin, long dark hair, bright blue eyes, high cheekbones and plump lips. I don't know how the doctors did it, those IVF people are geniuses.

Natalia's 'mommy' is Brittany Pierce, my lifelong best friend and girlfriend since senior year. After high school, we'd both gone to Ohio State. I graduated with a Law degree, Brittany with a Teaching degree with a specialism in Special Needs Education. We decided together to move back to Lima. It was home and maybe it wasn't as bad as we'd once made it out to be. Brittany got a job at an elementary school and I started working at a law practice in town. Eventually the majority of our friends from high school moved back to Lima too and it felt like one long glee club practice. Rachel and Finn were the first to marry, followed by Mike and Tina, Kurt and Blaine, Quinn and Puck and lastly me and Brittany. A flock of kids arrived and we were like one big crazy extended family, raising each other's children and vacationing together.

Brittany and I were the last to get pregnant. It wasn't that we didn't want to have a kid; we just wanted to wait until the timing was right. When Kurt and Blaine announced at a summer barbecue in Finn and Rachel's backyard that they were pregnant via a surrogate, Britt and I realised that it was what we wanted too. A couple of weeks and a few cheques later, I was sitting in the doctors chair on my lunch break with my legs spread while the doctor impregnated me with mine and Brittany's specially designed eggs. We were both shocked when one of the eggs took straight away as we'd thought it might take a few tries. But nope, I, Santana Lopez and my overachieving womb, was pregnant with Brittany Pierce's baby. Natalia Rebecca Lopez-Pierce was born on the 17th of May and it was the happiest day of our lives. We'd chosen the middle name Rebecca in honour of Becky Jackson, a friend from high school who'd died suddenly a few months earlier. Since all of our other friends were there in the hospital with us, it seemed right to remember the girl who had always been there but was never really mentioned. Brittany and I brought Natalia home from the hospital two days later and we joined our friends in their play date and long lunch filled lives. It was perfect.

Except for me. I wasn't well. Natalia was all I'd ever wanted and more, but I just didn't feel right. Since it was me that had carried Natalia, I had been given six months maternity leave. Brittany was at home with me for the first few weeks but then she had to return to work. I was alone, all day in a huge house with a baby that only seemed to cry, sleep and cry. I wasn't Santana anymore, I was 'Natalia's Mom'. I couldn't deal with it. I'd always been so independent and strong, my own person, and then suddenly my entire life revolved around this tiny human being. I was Santana Lopez, full-time mother. I freaked out.

It didn't help that I couldn't even mother her properly. It started in the hospital. Breast feeding was excruciating. Quinn had told me it would hurt at first but for me it didn't get any easier. Eventually the nurse told me just to switch to formula. And even then, I didn't know when she needed fed. All her cries were the same. How was I supposed to know whether she needed a hug or some banana gloop? Then there came the matter of talking to her. Unlike Brittany, I wasn't a 'goo goo ga ga' person. I would try but Natalia's huge blue eyes would look back up at me as if to say, _what the fuck are you doing woman?_

Eventually it all just became too much. By the time Talia was eighteen months old, I was in a dark place. Everyone was worried about me but I just didn't care. Brittany tried her best but I was beyond repair. I would wake up in the morning, wave her off to work, go to the store, take Natalia to a play date, greet Brittany from work, make dinner and go to bed early. Every single day. I was running on auto pilot. I was just a shell, a shadow of my former self and I got to the point where I couldn't be bothered hiding it anymore. Brittany and I's relationship dissolved before my eyes but I couldn't even bring myself to try and save it. All we did was argue. My life had ended up being everything I'd never wanted it to be. I just wanted to rewind to five years ago and start again.

It all came to a head one day in November. Brittany had been given the day off work so she'd taken Natalia to the park with Quinn and Tina and their kids. She'd asked me to come too but I'd declined, choosing to stay in bed. Quinn had eyed me warily when she came to pick up Britt. She'd appeared at the bedroom door, rubbing her pregnant belly with a face full of concern.

'_You sure you don't want to come, S? I know you don't feel well but the fresh air might do you some good.'_

'_No, Quinn. I just want to sleep,' I mumbled as I rolled over in bed and tried to bury myself further under the covers. _

'_Come on, Santana, you've hardly left the house for the last four months. Come with us and have some fun with the kids, their only young once,' Quinn pressed gently. But not gently enough. _

'_Just drop it, Quinn! I don't want to come to the fucking park, I just want to sleep!'_

'_Leave her, Q, I've already tried to convince her but she's not budging,' Brittany had joined her at the door. I opened my eyes to see her looking at me with disgust. _

'_This isn't good for her, Brittany, she needs to get out. You can't just ignore the fact that she's obviously depressed and expect it to be okay,' Quinn whispered quietly. I knew she was worried. She had been trying to get me to talk about how I was feeling for months but I'd never opened up._

'_She's not depressed, Quinn, she's just a selfish bitch,' Brittany spat out._

'_Fuck off, Brittany. Maybe I just don't want to publicly pretend to be happy to be with you.' Our arguments had been like this for the last few months. I would be a difficult bitch, she would call me out on it, and I would act like I didn't want to be with her. Except I did, all I wanted was her. I just didn't want the life that came with it._

'_Well tough shit, we have a daughter, Santana, and I'm not going to be stupid enough to stand by and watch you ruin her! Don't take whatever our problems are out on her.'_

'_The only person I'm going to take my problems out on are you, you stupid cun-'_

'_STOP IT!' Quinn screamed before stepped out onto the carpet in between the bed and the door. 'Just stop it okay, before you both say something you'll regret!'_

'_The only thing I regret saying is 'I do' five years ago.' I could hear the tears in Brittany's voice as she stormed down the stairs. Once upon a time it would have killed me to know that I was the reason for her sadness but now I was used to it. She was right; I was just one big disappointment. _

_Quinn sighed and looked at me. I recognised the look in her hazel eyes; she'd given me it before. The last time I'd received it was junior year when I'd announced to the glee club that I was dating Karofsky. It was a mix of disappointment and disbelief, as if she was asking me if I really thought she believed anything I was saying. _

'_Don't look at me like that, Quinn. You know I don't want it to be like this.'_

'_I know, S,' Quinn sighed as she came over to the bed. She stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. 'I love you, Santana, you're my best friend. I just want what's best for you. We'll talk when I get back from the park?'_

_I nodded and squeezed her hand to show her my appreciation. I knew she just wanted to help me. She gave me a small smile and walked back to the door. 'Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone,' she said as she walked into the hall._

_But of course I did. Long story short, she and Brittany returned two hours later. They were looking all over the house for me. I know this because when they eventually found me, I was in the bath. I can't remember how long I was under the water. It must have been a long time because I choked when I felt Brittany's hands roughly grab me by the shoulders and pull me to the surface. She was shaking me, shouting in my face but all I could see were the angry tears streaming down hers. When I didn't respond to her she let go of me and stormed out the bathroom. Quinn ran over to me and started rubbing small circles on my back while I began to sob. _

_I had only heard Brittany say one thing. _

'_I'm done.'_

Brittany had moved out that night and she'd taken Natalia with her. Puck came to the house a few minutes after she left. He'd held me while Quinn packed some of my things. They told me they didn't want me to be in the house by myself and that I'd be staying with them for a few days. I didn't even argue with them, my mind was blank.

When Brittany and I separated, so did our group. Everyone took sides. There were those that felt sorry for poor Brittany, struggling to deal with her psycho bitch wife, and those who felt sorry for poor depressed Santana, struggling to deal with motherhood. Quinn and Puck were my obvious supporters. They were angry at Brittany for not doing more to help me. Mike and Tina went straight to Brittany. Ah, _Tina_. Brittany and Natalia had stayed with them on the night Brittany walked out. The next day, Tina appeared at the Puckerman's, burst through the door and gave me a mouthful about how she always knew I was an awful person, that Brittany and Natalia deserved better, that I would rot in hell. She had only stopped when Quinn grabbed her by the bingo wing, spun her round and smacked her square across that unfortunate face of hers before throwing her out the house and telling her to never come back. Ever since then, Tina had become enemy number one for Quinn and me. What the fuck did it have to do with her anyway?

Rachel and Finn, and Blaine and Kurt had stayed as neutral as possible. To be honest, Rachel was too busy writing her one woman show to get involved and Finn was occupied by their two little girls who were running circles round him. Kurt decided that he was going to spend equal amounts of time with both of us and Blaine just went along with him. They both thought the whole thing was so sad, especially for all our kids.

And now we were here. Brittany and I were separated, not divorced. We couldn't bring ourselves to sign the papers yet. Natalia spent half the week with Brittany and half the week with me. On Brittany's days she would go to her dance class with Mike who was her instructor and then go back to the Chang's house for dinner and play with Tina and Mike's kids. On my days, we would go to the movies or swimming or the park with Quinn and her boys. The Hudson's and the Anderson's would fit in somewhere in between. It was a lot for a four year old to deal with but she knew how it worked. Mama didn't like it when she was with the Chang's and mommy didn't like it when she was with the Puckerman's.

The doorbell pulled me from my thoughts. I looked at the clock again. _Shit, she's here already. _I looked over to Talia who was still packing up her things. Brittany hated it when I kept her waiting. We aimed to spend as little time together at hand over's as possible.

'Hurry up, Talia, you're mommy's here!' I shouted quickly as I rushed to the door.

I quickly smoothed over my hair with my hands before smirking to myself. I always made sure that I looked good when Brittany and I swapped Natalia. I wanted her to know that I was taking care of myself. Today, my 'I am sane' outfit consisted of dark blue skinny jeans with black boots and a sheer black shirt which showed off my bra. Accompanied by perfect make up and lightly curled hair, I was hot shit.

'Hi Brittany, she's just finishing packing up her stuff,' I said curtly as I open the door to my estranged wife.

'I told you I'd be here at four,' she sighs, her mouth in a tight, straight lipped frown.

'We lost track of time, Britt, don't act like you've never done it before,' I shot back.

We both stared at each other, the tension between us building. I couldn't remember the last time we had said something to each other that was civilised. Her blue eyes bore into me and I looked back into them with determination. I wasn't going to let her win this, I never did.

Our staring competition ended when I felt a tug on my leg. I looked down to see Natalia, her beautiful big blue eyes full of sadness. I knew it was difficult for her, she must have felt the hatred between her mama and her mommy.

'Don't be sad, Talia, you'll see me on Saturday. We're going to see Auntie Quinn and Uncle Puck,' I said cheerfully as I knelt down to her level. I hated seeing her upset. I wished I could take all the sadness out of those blue eyes and throw it at Tina. I honestly hated that bitch. 'And in the meantime, you'll have fun with mommy, yeah?'

'Okay, mama,' Natalia sniffled as she buried her head into my chest.

'_Te amo, mi hija_,' I whispered into her ear as I held her closer.

'_Te amo, mi madre_,' her little voice spoke back. It was moments like this that my heart broke.

I gave her one last squeeze before picking her up and handing her over the Brittany. Brittany smiled widely at her and suddenly Natalia wasn't so sad anymore. Brittany nodded her thanks at me and took her over to her car.

'Oh wait!' Brittany shouted over to me. She ran over to my front door and gave me an envelope. 'These are for you.'

I opened envelope as Brittany drove down the street while Natalia waved to me from the backseat.

I was shocked.

Divorce papers?

**Please review! :) x **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions from the last chapter, I was pretty overwhelmed when I checked my emails! **

**A few people have been asking whether this will be potential Brittana, and yes, it will be. I'm not sure how yet but they will get there in the end. I also agree with the reviews that say that they want it not to be just Santana fighting. Don't worrry, you'll find out more about why they broke up as we go along and see that it definitely wasn't one sided.**

**This chapter is shorter than the last one but hopefully it'll do until the next one!**

**Chapter Two**

A loud crash echoed through the Puckerman house as the coffee table fell on its side.

'Oh my god Carter, I told you to be careful!' Quinn screamed at her eight year old son from the kitchen where she was making us a cup of coffee.

'It wasn't me mom, Lucas did it!'

'I don't care, no more playing in the living room! Outside now! Don't you huff at me!'

I laughed as I watched Quinn march her boys into the backyard. She had her hands full with them.

'Fucking boys,' Quinn ranted as she stormed back into the kitchen. 'I don't know what the fuck I did to deserve them. Noah says I'm overreacting but do you know why he thinks that? Because HE works all day. He only sees them at night when they're worn out. And why are they worn out? From running me ragged all day. I'd hate them if they weren't so cute.'

Quinn loved her children more than anything. After having Beth in high school and giving her up for adoption, she had realised how important it was for her to try again. She and Puck had married two years after college and Carter James Puckerman was born soon after. He was followed by Lucas John Puckerman, now five, and then Joshua Scott Puckerman, now two. When asked about her kids, Quinn always replied that she had an 8 year old, a five year old, a two year old and a thirty something year old. As much as she complained about them, her boys were her life and they had her wrapped around their little fingers. There was only one rule she insisted they stuck to; no Mohawks.

'Anyway, you were saying,' Quinn continued. 'So she just handed you them with no explanation?'

'Yes! It was as if she was giving me a fucking birthday card.' I retorted. I had just told her about Brittany and the divorce papers she'd served me with two days ago.

'I mean, it makes sense. You guys have been separated for two years now. I'm surprised one of you didn't sort it out earlier,' Quinn placed a cup of hot coffee in front of me as she sipped her own. 'Does it bother you that she wants a divorce?'

'Well we're pretty much divorced already. There's nothing 'together' about us. We even cut the tablecloths in half. I just don't know why she wants to do it now,' I replied as I brought my mug to my lips. I was telling the truth. Brittany and I were over but we'd had some kind of weird agreement that we wouldn't officially divorce. We'd never actually _said_ to each other that we had this agreement but it was pretty obvious. At least I thought it was.

'Maybe she just wants to start new? Make it official and begin again?' Quinn suggested as she leaned back against the countertop and shrugged at me. 'You know what's pissing me off?'

'What?'

'The fact that that bitch Tina probably knows why but we don't.'

I snorted into my cup. Somehow during conversations between Quinn and I, it always came back to how much we hated Tina Cohen Chang. I don't know whether we actually hated her anymore or if it was just habit. To be honest, bitching about Tina made us feel young again. Talking about that Asian tranny took us back to wearing our Cheerio's uniforms on the bleachers at McKinley High, shouting abuse at anyone and everyone who walked past for being ugly, only now we didn't have Brittany to call us out for being too mean.

'I bet it was fucking Tina's idea,' I groaned, receiving a nod from Quinn. 'She's probably worried I'll get to hell before I can sign the papers.'

'I saw her at the school yesterday, she was handing out flyers for the sports day next Thursday- she's on the PTA of course,' Quinn raised her eyebrows at me knowingly before carrying on. 'And she completely blanked me. I'm talking not even one glance in my direction. Luckily, Leah Birming gave me her flyer or I would have marched over and demanded she gave me one. Oh and get this. She was wearing crocs.'

'Oh dear lord, not crocs!' I laughed at Quinn. 'Like you even wanted a flyer anyway.'

'Of course I wanted a flyer. I need to scrapbook it and title it, 'The Day My Child Was Superior to Everyone Else and Everybody Knew About It', just in case I forget.' Quinn smirked. Carter was good at sports and he did beat everyone in his class. I knew she was joking about the scrapbooking (Quinn and I were definitely not 'scrapbooking moms') but I wasn't so sure about the title. 'Are you going or is it Brittany's day?'

'It's Brittany's day but we decided that we'd both go since its Talia's first one,' I replied as I drank more of my coffee. Normally, Britt and I stuck to our days religiously. We figured it would be easier for Natalia if it wasn't changing all the time. However, sometimes we shared days if it was a special occasion. For sports day, Natalia would spent the night before with Brittany, we'd both go to the school to watch her, and then she'd come home with me.

'We got another letter from Beth yesterday,' Quinn smiled at me. 'She invited me and Noah to her graduation.'

'Aw Q, that's great!' I got up to hug her. Beth had first gotten in touch with her and Puck three years ago. It was just a letter letting them know that she was well and that she appreciated what they'd done for her. It wasn't much but I knew that it meant a lot to Quinn. After that, Beth had met up with them and met her brothers for the first time. It had been overwhelming at first but they'd all gotten on really well and started seeing each other every few months. I had been ecstatic for Quinn. I knew that she had always wondered whether giving Beth away was the right decision but seeing her had confirmed it.

'I'm really excited! What do I wear?' Quinn asked me as she returned the hug.

'As long as you and Shelby don't wear those god awful matching outfits that our mom's wore then you're fine,' I told her as my nose wrinkled in disgust at the memory. On the first day of kindergarten, Quinn, Brittany and I had worn matching dresses. We continued this at graduation by wearing matching dresses under our robes. For some reason, our mom's decided that they would join in by buying the same purple and green floral skirt-suit. And be photographed together wearing them. Publicly.

'Oh god, don't remind me. Those things were so embarrassing. I think I just about died of shame when my mom shouted over everyone, 'Quinnie! Gloria and Susan and I are over here! Remember, shoulders back, chest out and smiiilllleeeeeeee!'' Quinn shuddered at the memory.

'I remember,' Santana laughed as she imagined Judy Fabray's proud face in her head. 'And then you tried to ignore her but Britt made sure you acknowledged her because she's the-'

'Only mom you'll ever get.' Quinn said softly. She looked at me knowingly for a second and I ducked my eyes away from her stare.

'Hey Quinn, do you know who did think those suits were cute?' I asked her, changing the subject.

'Who?'

'Tina.'

We both looked at each other before we burst out laughing. I knew that wherever she was, Coach Sylvester would feel a wave of accomplishment wash over her.

**Please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Happy New Year everyone!**

** Thankyou to everyone who has put this story on their alerts, it means a lot! However, it would be really helpful if you would leave reviews because then I know what parts of the story you like and don't like and I can make improvements :). **

**Chapter 3**

'Are you sure you don't want a granite countertop, Santana? Because we've got some new finishes in and I think you'd really like them.'

I was stood in the entryway to Finn and Rachel's house. I would have answered Finn's question if I thought he'd hear the answer. Three little girls were currently running around and through his legs and I was hoping that his main priority was stopping himself from tripping over them, especially since one of them was mine.

Finn and Rachel had married straight out of high school. Finn hadn't gotten into college so he began working for his step-father, Burt Hummel, before opening his own granite worktop business. Rachel had realised half way through her first semester at college that her real passion was writing plays, not starring in them. Not that this stopped her being the most ridiculously over dramatic person that I had ever met. Her last play, Yellow River, had been really successful and now it was being made into a movie. Although their lives weren't what they had planned, Finn and Rachel were incredibly happy.

Part of this was down to their two daughters, Alexis Nicole and Sophia Michelle. Alexis was eleven and a taller version of her mother. Her personality was a toned down version of Rachel and she played sports like Finn. Sophia however was definitely Rachel's daughter. I had seen her announce her entrance into my home with a song and a tap dance on many occasions.

Natalia and Sophia got on well, which is probably why Talia was chasing a singing Sophia through Finn's legs while Alexis walked around him in circles trying to get him to sign something.

'Oh, Santana, I didn't realise you had arrived!' I looked over Finn's shoulder to see Rachel stood at the top of a small flight of stairs with an apron tied over her dress.

'Yeah, I just got here. Finn's trying to sell me a worktop again.' I laughed as I took my jacket off.

'Oh gosh, just ignore him,' Rachel chuckled as she took my jacket from me and hung it in a closet. 'But you know if you do want one, there's a special discount for friends!'

'We know Rachel, you tell us all the time,' a deep voice said behind me.

I turned round to see Puck and Quinn behind me. Puck smiled at us all while Quinn smirked and raised a bottle of wine in the air and winked at me when I raised the one I had also brought with me.

'Oh, the Puckerman's too! Well now, everyone come in. Dinner will be served shortly,' Rachel smiled as she bustled back into the kitchen.

'Don't break_ anything_,' I heard Quinn whisper under her breath as she released the death grip she had on her two elder sons. Puck was holding a content Joshua in his arms.

'Hey Lezpez, had a gardener tend to your bush recently?' Puck asked me with a smirk before he was greeted by a smack from Quinn.

'Shut it Puckerman, you'll never be the man your mother is,' I replied quickly.

'Or my wife.' We both laughed and looked at Quinn.

'Fuck the both of you,' she muttered as she wandered into the dining room.

'Mercedes called me yesterday, she and Sam are coming into town in a few weeks to visit her mother,' Rachel said as she folded up her napkin and placed it in front of her on the table.

We'd finished dinner and were having more drinks while Puck and Finn had gone off to the living room to watch football and the kids played not so quietly upstairs. By the sound of it, Sophia had pulled out the karaoke machine and was attempting to perform over the noise of Carter and Lucas wrestling.

'Are they? Who are they staying with?' I asked as I sipped my wine.

'They're only visiting for a few days so they're staying with her mom. I asked if they wanted to stay with us but she said it wasn't necessary. She said that Tina had offered for them to stay at her and Mike's as well,' Rachel replied as she picked up her wine glass.

'Tina did?' I asked as I smirked over at Quinn who looked at me smugly over her glass.

'Yes, Tina did,' Rachel sighed between the pair of us exasperatedly. 'Honestly, you two are like a pair of witches over a cauldron. You'd think you were still in the Cheerios.'

'Pah! After four kids these thighs are never seeing a mini skirt again.' Quinn snorted as she poured herself another glass of merlot.

'We're obviously not still in the Cheerios or we wouldn't be at your shire, hobbit.' I said sarcastically as I downed the rest of my glass and poured myself another.

'There is nothing wrong with your thighs, Quinn. There is also nothing wrong with Tina.' Rachel said matter of factly, ignoring my comment.

'Except from he-,' Quinn began.

'No, Quinn!' Rachel interrupted.

'Calm down Berry, we'll stop bitching about the Fat Sam to your Frodo.' I said as I threw my hands in the air.

'For the next five minutes anyway.' Quinn said quietly as I giggled.

'Right, I'm changing the subject now,' Rachel said as she picked up her glass. 'Santana dear, how are you dealing with the recent developments in your marriage? I hope you're not using alcohol as a coping mechanism.'

I rolled my eyes at Rachel as I watched her eye my wine glass.

'I'm just enjoying a drink with friends, Rachel. Besides, I don't think it's me you should be worried about.' I said as I wiggled my finger at Quinn who was finishing her glass.

'What?' Quinn looked at us both. 'I'm enjoying myself! You two wouldn't understand, you have girls!'

'You have three lovely sons, Quinn.'

A loud thump rang out from upstairs, followed by boyish laughter.

'So Santana, your marriage!' Rachel cried out to avoid an '_I told you so' _from Quinn. 'Have you signed the papers yet?'

'I haven't, no.' I shook my head. Truth be told, I hadn't even looked at them since the day I got them.

'Seriously?' Quinn asked incredulously.

'Nope, I've not even touched them. I want to ask her about it first. It was just so out of the blue, you know, and I want to find out the reason behind it before I sign them.' I sighed as I sat back in my chair. Brittany giving me the papers had shocked me. I knew we weren't getting back together but it just made it all so... _definite_.

'Do you not want to sign them because there are still feelings involved?...' Rachel asked me, trying to hide her excitement.

'God no, there are no feelings at all. I just want to know why. I think I deserve an explanation. We've been separated for two years so why all of a sudden now?'

'Do you know anything that's going on in Brittany's life?' Rachel asked me.

'No. You probably know more than me.' I replied as I chugged more of my wine.

'Yes, I probably do...' Rachel said quietly. I looked at her questioningly but she snapped back to her normal self quickly. 'So are the two of you excited for the children's sports day at school on Thursday?'

'Ooh, I cannot wait.' Quinn slurred.

'And why's that, Q?' I laughed, already knowing the answer.

'Because guess who my Carter is going to beat in the sack race?'

'Let me guess.' Rachel groaned as she reached for her wine.

'Zach Cohen Chang! Woo Team Puckerman!'


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I was stood with Quinn on the sidelines of the elementary schools sports field freezing our asses off. Honestly, who has a freaking sports day in the middle of November?

'It is so fucking cold.' I hissed at Quinn as I pulled my arms tighter around myself.

'I know.' Quinn replied as she fished around in her bag for a coffee flask before handing it to me. 'Here, drink this.'

I took the flask and thanked Quinn. That girl was such a god send sometimes. I opened the lid and took a huge gulp of the warm liquid from the flask. Only it wasn't warm. Or coffee.

'Jesus fucking Christ!' I screeched as I spat it out. 'What the fuck is that Quinn?'

'Vodka soda, light on the soda.' Quinn replied nonchalantly as she took her own flask out and drank from it. 'What? Don't judge me, Santana, you've never been to one of these things before. There are only so many jump rope races a woman can take.'

'I worry about you sometimes.' I said as I sipped from my flask anyway. If Quinn was drinking then I may as well be.

The races hadn't started yet so parents were still arriving and finding spots to get the best view of their kids. A lot of them had coffee flasks too. I wondered if they had thought of Quinn's idea as well.

'Oh, look look look!' I hissed at Quinn as I nudged her in the side. 'It's Tina!'

The two of us looked over to the other side of the field and watched Tina push a stroller along the grass, greeting other mother's as she passed them.

'Three year old in a stroller, ridiculous.' Quinn began her muttering. 'And see all those women she's talking to? That's the mom's brigade.'

'The mom's brigade?' I asked her while trying not to laugh.

'The mom's brigade. It's a group of stay at home mom's whose mission in life is to make all other mom's feel like failures. They're on the PTA and they help out in class and on trips. They're the mom's that bake muffins from scratch for their kid's class on their birthday. They keep in touch with each other through their blogs where they post pictures of their sewing projects and colour coordinated plates.'

'You're lying.' I laughed at Quinn. There was no way she was telling the truth. Who has time for colour coordinated plates?

'I'm being deadly serious, Santana.' Quinn said as she looked at me completely dead pan.

'Well why aren't we on the mom's brigade?' I teased her.

'Are you kidding me? I was a teen mom and you're a divorced lesbian.'

'Separated.' I corrected her.

'Same thing. See that one there in the purple parka? That's Sugar Motta.' Quinn told me while she pointed across the field.

'Oh my god, seriously?' I gasped as I tried to get a better look.

'Well look who we have here, if it isn't Thelma and Louise with PMS.'

'Can it, Kurt, I'm showing Santana the mom's brigade.' Quinn shot back as Kurt joined us.

'You haven't seen them yet?' Kurt look at me shocked. 'I expected more from you, Satan. Oh look, there's Brittany.'

Kurt pointed over to a tall blonde figure stood next to Tina and the mom's brigade. She was talking to a tall brunette and laughed at something that she said. Brittany was friends with the mom's brigade? Oh, this was far too good.

'Who's that one she's talking to, Q?' I asked Quinn and I took another chug of my 'coffee'.

'I don't know, I don't recognise her. She must be new. Any ideas Kurt?' Quinn replied as she sipped at her own flask.

'Hmm, no, she must be new.' Kurt said hurriedly. 'Oh, the kids are coming out! Amelia, Daddy's over here!'

I looked over to the procession of kids arriving on the field. I grinned at Natalia and waved at her as she noticed me and waved back with a huge smile. She was walking with Sophia, who was jazz squaring her way towards her position, and Amelia, the object of Kurt's affections. Amelia-Rose Anderson was born a few months before Natalia and I don't think that I've ever seen Kurt and Blaine so happy before. I was surprised that they hadn't tried for another one yet but I suppose they had other things on their mind.

'The egg and spoon race is first. Come on, I want to get a good view of Carter beating everyone.' Quinn said as she pulled us to the front.

An hour and a half later and two flasks down, Quinn and I were really enjoying sports day. Natalia had won the jump rope competition, a very proud moment for me, and now we were on the final race of the day to determine the overall champion. Among the ten kids in the final was Carter Puckerman. And who else? Zach Cohen Chang.

'Come on Zach!'

'Carter, put some effort into it!'

Kurt and I laughed as we listened to Tina and Quinn cheering their kids on.

'Hurry Zach, he's pulling ahead!'

'That's it Carter, keep going!'

'Well done Zach, keep catching up!'

'Go Carter, go!'

'ZACH, ZACH, ZACH!'

'DO IT CARTER, DO ITTTTT!'

The whistle sounded and I jumped into the air with Quinn. It wasn't by choice. She had a death grip on my hand.

'YESSSSS, CARTER! THAT'S MY BOY!' Quinn waved her arms in the air while she shrieked about her victory over Tina.

'Take that flask off her now.' Kurt told me firmly.

I laughed and looked for Natalia. She was talking to Brittany and the woman she was with earlier. Talia seemed very relaxed with her. I wondered if she'd met her before. I turned round to find Quinn in an impromptu photo shoot with Carter and his trophy. Kurt was congratulating Amelia on her sack race win.

'Mama!'

I looked over to see Talia running towards me with her arms outstretched. I picked her up when she reached me and spun her round.

'Well done, baby. I'm so proud of you.' I told her as I kissed her cheek.

'Thanks, mama. Mommy says she is proud too.' Talia told me as she hugged me. I looked in Brittany's direction to see that she was still talking to the brunette from earlier.

'Talia, who's that mommy is talking to?' I asked her as I put her down and knelt to her level.

'That's mommy's friend, Louise. She's really nice. I play Barbie's with her.' Natalia told me gleefully.

'That sounds fun. How many times have you seen her?' I pried.

'Three I think. Me and mommy went to Breadstix with her last night. I had pasta and two ice creams.' Talia told me excitedly. I saw red. _Friend my ass_. So Brittany had a girlfriend and she'd introduced her to our daughter without telling me first and now she wanted to divorce me? _We'll see about that._

'Let's go talk to mommy, Talia.' I said as I led her over to Brittany and Louise.

'Hey, San.' Brittany said with a small wave.

'Hey, Brittany. I wanted to talk to you.' I replied calmly.

'Yeah, me too. Have you signed them yet?' she asked me as she tried to read my facial expression.

'No I haven't, actually. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you have time tomorrow?' I asked, keeping my voice cool and collected. It was difficult for both of us to try and hold a normal conversation with each other.

'I suppose. Come round at two before I go to work.' Brittany replied, just as calmly.

'Cool.' I eyed Louise warily. She was stunning, there was no doubt about it. Long brown hair, brilliant green eyes and the best nose I had ever seen. _Sixteenth birthday present_.

'Oh, this is Louise.' Brittany said as she introduced us. 'Louise, this is Santana.'

'It's nice to meet you Santana, I've heard a lot about you.' Louise smiled as she stuck her hand out towards me.

'I'm sure you have.' I retorted as I looked her up and down and ignored her hand. 'I'll see you tomorrow, Britt. Come on, Talia.'

I smirked to myself as I walked away. Louise wasn't going to be causing me trouble anytime soon. Brittany was crazy if she thought I was going to let her- _wait, what? Why am I so jealous? I'm not in love with Brittany anymore, why does it matter if she has a girlfriend?_

'What are you looking so confused about?' Quinn asked me when I was back next to her.

'Nothing, I'm just can't comprehend how talented Carter is.' I lied.

'Good. Now come on, I want to write loser in the condensation on the windows of Tina's minivan,' Quinn smirked as she grabbed my wrist.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

It's strange to think that there was a time when I felt completely at ease with Brittany. We'd spent all our time together since we were kids and I'd always thought we'd be that way forever. But now, I was sitting in her house and I'd never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

'Do you want anything to drink?' Brittany asked me as she twiddled her thumbs on the chair across from me.

'No, I'm good. This shouldn't take long', I replied cooly as I looked around her living room. I'd never been in her house for this long. It was weird to think that she had this whole other life now that I didn't know about, a life that didn't involve me.

Brittany's voice brought me out of my thoughts. 'So was there anything particular you wanted to talk about?'

I could tell by her voice that she was just as nervous as me. This was the first proper conversation we'd had in years and it wasn't a light topic.

'I guess I just want to know why you want to get divorced now. We've been separated for two years and I thought it was working out.' I tried to keep my tone impartial as I spoke. She would jump on any sign of weakness.

'It was working out, Santana, I just want to finalise it,' Brittany said as she cast her eyes down to her thumbs again.

'Finalise what?'

'Us being over, Santana. I feel like there's a huge weight over my head and I just want to get rid of it.' She was still staring at her thumbs. _Why won't she look at me god dammit?_

'So you think that getting divorced will make you feel less guilty for leaving me?' I asked her defiantly. She looked up at me then. 'Are you sick of explaining to people that you're married but you walked out on your wife because she was depressed and you couldn't be bothered dealing with it?'

'That is so unfair, Santana!' she shot back. Jackpot, I'd pissed her off now. I still knew the only way to find out the whole truth from Brittany was to get her angry. 'How was I supposed to stay with you? I tried to help you but you wouldn't let me! It was your fault I left, I couldn't deal with your shit anymore!'

'I wasn't in a state for you to help me, Brittany!' Great, now she'd pissed me off. 'I didn't know what the hell was going on, a bit like now! Why is it so important that we're 'officially' over?'

'Because, Santana, we are! We're not getting back together, right? So why are we still married? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to meet new people and tell them that you're married? How are we supposed to move on if we're still married to each other?' Her cheeks had gone red and she brushed the hair that had fallen in front of her face away.

'Oh, so _that's_ what this is about. You want to meet new people and you don't want them to know that in your last relationship you turned out to be a shady bitch. And don't you dare introduce anyone to my daughter before I've met them again!' _Who the hell did she think she was?_

'What are you talking about? I've not introduced Tal-' Brittany stopped as she understood what I was saying. Then she laughed. 'Louise? You think I'm dating Louise? She's just a friend, Santana, just like Quinn is yours!'

'Don't lie to me, Brittany, I'm not retarded! Why would you bring her to the sports day if you weren't involved with her?' I was really pissed off now. I hate people lying to me, especially Brittany, and after all these years I could still tell when she was.

'So that Talia would know who I was going on vacation with. That's why she's staying my parents this weekend, I'm going to Lake Baldwin with Louise,' Brittany explained, 'as_ friends_.'

'_As friends?_ Really Brittany?'

'Yes, Santana, she's my friend and we're going away together as friends!'

I sighed and pursed my lips.

'Whatever, Brittany, I know when you're lying to me. I'll look over the fucking papers but I'm not signing them until you tell me the real reason.' Brittany looked at me defeated. I knew she was keeping something from me, I just knew it and I didn't know why but I **needed** to know.

I also knew that I needed a drink.

'So she's claiming that there's nothing going on with this girl but she's going on_ vacation_ with her?' Quinn asked me incredulously as she poured us another vodka. 'Is she fucking serious?'

'It's the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard,' I said as I took a large gulp from the glass that Quinn had just handed me. I'd came over to her house as soon as I'd spoken to Brittany to fill her in on what was going on. 'Does she honestly expect me to believe it? She's going to Lake Baldwin to shack up with her!'

'She's lying,' Quinn nodded as she took a sip from her own glass. 'I don't mean to offend you or anything, S, but what is it that you're actually annoyed about? That she's moving on or that she's lying to you?'

I sighed and rubbed my temples.

'Everything I guess. Probably more that she's going away this weekend to have sex and I'm stuck here in fucking Lima without even Talia to keep me company,' I said honestly. It bothered me that Brittany had found someone knew to hook up with while I was going through a 'dry spell'.

'I have an idea!' Quinn shouted excitedly as she slammed her glass down on the table, startling me in the process. 'You and I should go away this weekend as well!'

'I'm not having sex with you, Quinn. You're married and straight.' I told her exasperatedly. _How much had she had to drink?_

'No, I don't mean to have sex, you perv. I mean to get away. When was the last time we went anywhere without the kids?' She asked me as her eyes glinted mischievously. 'Natalia will be with Brittany's parents, I'll get Puck to look after the boys. It'll be perfect!'

'I don't know, Q, are you sure this is a good idea?' I asked her questioningly. As much fun as Quinn was, sometimes these spur of the moment ideas of hers were too much for me.

'Yes, I'm sure, Santana. Let's do it!' She squealed as she jumped out her chair.

'Do what?' Puck asked as he walked into the kitchen. He took one look at Quinn and reached for her glass before sniffing the liquid and rolling his eyes. 'You better not be trying to convert my wife, Lopez.'

'It's your wife trying to convert me, Puckerman,' I shot back. 'She wants the two of us to go away for the weekend.'

'Go away for the weekend?' Puck snorted as he looked at the two of us. 'To do what? Take a break from getting drunk in my house every day?'

Puck yelped as an apple hit his head.

'Shut up, Noah!' Quinn yelled with her arm still in the air. 'Santana and I need a break. We spend all day with the kids while you go out to work and expect everything to be perfect when you get home.'

'Lopez doesn't answer to a man, she's a lesbian,' Puck retorted. I rolled my eyes.

'That's not the point, Noah!' Quinn shot back. 'Santana and I are going away this weekend and **you **are paying for it!'

I looked between Quinn and Puck as they stared each other down. Eventually, Puck sighed and shrugged defeatedly. _God, that boy is so whipped_.

'Fine, but I'm not paying for your bar tab!' he yelled at us as he walked towards the living room to safety.

'Yes he will,' Quinn said as she shot a smirk and a wink my way.

_Oh god_, I groaned inwardly. _What have I gotten myself in for?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

'WHAT THE FUCK FABRAY! TURN THE CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW OR I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!'

To say that I was livid right now would be the understatement of the century. How could I not have seen this coming? I knew that Quinn was as much of a conniving bitch as I was but this, this was too fucking far.

After Quinn had decided earlier in the week that we were going on a trip this weekend, I had slowly come around to the idea. She was right, it had been months since we'd gone somewhere that didn't involve the kids and I needed a break from Lima and my impending 'divorce'. Plus, Puck had finally agreed to pay our bar tab which meant that we'd probably spend the entire weekend absolutely wasted, which as far as Quinn and I were concerned, was a good fucking time.

Since it was Quinn's idea, she was in charge of coming up with the arrangements. I'd been a bit surprised when Quinn refused point blank to invite Berry along too. Puck had complained to Finn about having to pay for our bender and Finn told Rachel, who had, of course, asked if she could join us. I wouldn't have minded if Rachel had come with us, she was easy to make fun of and a hilarious drunk. However, Quinn had insisted that this weekend was just for me and her and that Rachel could join us another time. Looking back, this was the first warning that she was up to no good.

The second sign was when Quinn picked me up this afternoon and advised me to sleep while she drove. I had questioned her but she claimed it was so that I'd have enough energy for tonight. Knowing what Quinn's like when she_ really_ lets her hair down, I had gone for a nap. When I woke up two hours later, I was definitely not prepared for what would greet me.

'What are you talking about, Santana?' Quinn asked me innocently while she kept her eyes looking firmly at the road ahead of us, refusing to look at me. 'Do you not like this resort?'

'Do I not like the resort? DO I NOT LIKE THE FUCKING RESORT? FUCKING LAKE FUCKING BALDWIN FUCKING RESORT?' I was past controlling my rage right now. I was fumigating. I felt like my head was going to explode. 'PULL THE FUCKING CAR OVER RIGHT NOW!'

'What's wrong with Lake Baldwin?' Quinn laughed nervously.

'Don't even try that shit with me, Fabray. This is where Brittany's staying this weekend and you fucking know it! You did this on purpose!' I was so angry. Why would she do this? We were almost certainly going to bump into Brittany and now it was going to look like I was stalking her!

'I swear I didn't kn- SANTANA, FUCK, LET GO!' Quinn screamed as she attempted to prise my hands off of hers on the steering wheel. I was determined to stop this car. 'Okay, okay, I'll pull over! Just fucking let go of the wheel!'

I exhaled angrily and balled my fists as Quinn pulled over at the side of the road. She unbuckled her seatbelt and slowly turned around the face me. I'm sure she flinched when she saw how flared my nostrils were.

'You're right, I knew that this was where Brittany was staying this weekend,' she began slowly, carefully choosing her words to avoid me leaning over the centre console to punch her in the face, 'but this resort is one of the best rated and it has a _really_ good bar. We probably won't even be out much anyway so we might not even run into her. And if we do, which we probably won't,' she added quickly, 'we might catch her in the act with Louise and find out why she's been lying to you.'

'Quinn, I'm not going to fucking _spy_ on her,' I spat out angrily, 'her lying to me means that she's in the wrong. Fucking following her to a fucking lake puts me in the wrong instead!'

'I'm not asking you to spy on her!' Quinn shouted back. 'We are here to have a good time and get some fresh air and work up a ridiculous bill at the bar. It just so happens that Brittany will be here too.'

'Quinn, I-'

'Look, Santana,' Quinn interrupted me, 'maybe this wasn't my best idea,' she paused when I scoffed at her, 'but now that we're here can't we just enjoy ourselves? We can stay in the room all weekend if you want but please can we stay? Please?'

Three tequila slammers and four double vodkas later, I was _loving_ Quinn's idea to go on this trip. After unpacking, we'd gone straight to the bar. We'd decided it was safe since Brittany didn't really drink, _well she didn't when we knew her anyway_, so there wouldn't really be a chance of us bumping into her. Maybe our decision to skip dinner wasn't our best but right now neither of us was complaining.

'I'm soooo glad we could go on this trip, Santana,' Quinn slurred as she put her arm around me, 'because you,' she stopped to point at me, 'are my best friend. _Ever_.'

'You're my best friend too, Q,' I slurred equally as badly back, 'ever, ever, ever. More than anyone else in the entire world!'

I chinked my glass against hers as we both knocked another few gulps back. I examined my glass closely after as I couldn't taste the vodka anymore. _I'm sure I saw the bartender put some in there_... I was interrupted from my thoughts when Quinn began to speak.

'But I wasn't always,' Quinn said as she swallowed more of her drink.

'Yes, you were, Q, we've been best friends since we were babies!'

'No, you liked Brittany more than me!' Quinn cried as she slammed her now empty glass down on the bar. 'I was the third wheel. You and Brittany were Beyonce and Kelly, I was Michelle. You were Madonna and Britney, I was Christina. You were Starsky and Hutch, I was the car.'

'No, Quinn, no!' I shouted at her as I took her face between my hands. We must have been a sight to see for everyone else in the bar. 'You've always been my best friend. Fuck Brittany, you're the one that's here with me now.'

'I'm so loyal,' Quinn said as she waved down the bartender. 'Like a little puppy.'

'Roll over!' I laughed as I tickled Quinn's side. She began laughing to and tried to swot me away.

'What can I get you, ladies?' the bartender asked as he smiled brightly at us. He was cute. If I was straight and ten years younger I totally would.

'Can we have two more double vodka sodas please?' I purred at him. I know this is mortifying, a drunk thirty something (future) divorcee trying it on with a young bartender, but it was just a bit of fun.

'Coming right up,' he winked at me as he pulled two glasses out from underneath the bar and began to mix our drinks. 'So what brings you two to Lake Baldwin this weekend?'

'Just two single gals taking a break,' Quinn giggled at him as she batted her eyelashes at him. I loved it when we did this. Quinn would never cheat on Puck but it was fun for both of us to play around.

'Single gals, huh?' the bartender laughed at he placed our drinks in front of us. 'Not that I'm being nosey, but who's 'Noah Puckerman' and why is he paying for your tab?'

'He's our pimp,' I blurted out as I took a sip from my drink, which was then followed by a swift kick in the shins from Quinn under the table. _Owwwww..._

'Your pimp, huh?' the bartender smirked at us. 'He must be a rich man if he markets you two.'

'Very rich,' Quinn butted in as she took a large swig from her drink and winked at me. 'And so are we. We have two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.'

I snorted into my drink as I listened to Quinn.

'Oh, really? So how much would it cost me to have a night with you ladies?' he asked us with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

'What?' Quinn spluttered. _Oh fuck..._

'If you're selling, I'm buying.'_ God, this boy did not know when to shut up._

'We are not prostitutes!' Quinn yelled as she stood up and downed the rest of her drink. 'Come on, Santana, let's go!'

I was pulled up from my seat by Quinn and we both stumbled towards the door. But obviously, I had to turn around once more and yell to the bartender from across the crowded room.

'Just so you know, if I was ten years younger I would totally do you!'

'Fuck, Santana, we're so lost!' Quinn whined as she gripped my arm and narrowly avoided falling into the surrounding shrubbery.

After leaving the bar we'd began walking back to our cabin. The resort was located in some woods overlooking the lake and the cabins were dotted around the hillside. It was gorgeous but in the dark, and when very drunk, it was fucking impossible to navigate.

'I don't know where we are, Q,' I cried out. I fucking hated the dark and I was disorientated enough from all the drinks I'd had without having to add being lost to the equation as well.

'Fuck, what was that?' Quinn shouted out as something darted in front of us. She grabbed onto my wrist tightly. 'I don't like this, S, I want Puck here now! Santana... Santana, are you okay? Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?'

I snivelled and turned to sob into Quinn's shoulder. _Great, the hysterical drunk was back._

'I need someone to cuddle into, Q,' I choked out as I wept, 'or my mommy.'

'Oh, Santana, you poor baby,' Quinn whispered as she stroked my head and hugged me fiercely. 'I'll get us to the cabin, I promise. C'mon, we'll try this way.'

We began walking along the path, my head still in the crook of Quinn's neck while she rubbed circles on my back. It was comfortable but then Quinn tripped on a stick and we both landed on the ground in a heap.

'Ouch, Quinn, that hurt!' I yelled as I rubbed my arm.

'Sorry, San, I didn't se- SHIT! Santana, quick!' Quinn yanked me by my sore arm and shuffled me along the ground and into a bush. 'Get in the bush! Quick, hide!'

'Quinn, wait, what ar-' I covered my mouth as my eyes went wide when I looked at what Quinn was pointing to. At the cabin across from us, Brittany was stood at the window with a glass of wine, talking to Louise. Her arm was on Louise's shoulder and they were both laughing at something Louise had just said. _Friends my ass._

'Oh my god, Brittany was totally lying to you!' Quinn exclaimed as we both watched them from behind the leaves. 'And it looks like Louise's family is there! How long has she been seeing her?'

Sure enough, I looked past Brittany and Louise to see an older couple talking to two young guys. I assumed they were Louise's brothers until one of them wrapped his arm around Louise and kissed her on the cheek. Okay, so maybe Brittany and Louise weren't together. But why would Brittany go on vacation with her friend and her family?

It all made sense to me when the other guy came up to Brittany and pecked her on the lips before leading her away from the window. Quinn gasped beside me.

Brittany wasn't dating another woman.

She was dating a _guy_.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I inhaled deeply as I dragged the cigarette away from my lips. I'd cut down a lot over the past year but the stress from this impending divorce had made my habit heavier again. Brittany had hated me smoking so I'd quit for her at some point during college but after she'd walked out I'd taken it up again as a little 'fuck you' to her. I was always doing what Brittany wanted but somehow it still wasn't good enough for her and she'd left me. However, it was a 'fuck you' that I made sure she never found out about as she would definitely use it against me when it came to Natalia. I would never smoke around our daughter anyway but Brittany would definitely hold it against me, especially now when we were going to have to come up with some sort of legal custody agreement.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips as I exhaled. Never in my life would I have imagined that Brittany and I would be trying to find ways to screw each other over. Even before we were together we were _best friends_. I had spent my whole life doing anything I could to protect that girl, without realising that I was hurting myself in the process. Quinn had always said that Brittany was my downfall. Anything she wanted, I would do it for her. Anything she needed, I would get it for her. I didn't know how to say _no_ to her. I just wanted her to be happy, even if it meant that I wasn't. And now look where I was; single with a part time job while Brittany was in a (secret) relationship and was a deputy principal for a special needs school. Somehow while I was doing anything to help her, her life had eclipsed mine. To say I wasn't fucking happy about it would be an understatement.

If I was to think about it, the last time I could say Brittany and I were truly happy together was when I was in labour. I'd had an easy pregnancy, much to Quinn, Tina (the stupid bitch) and Rachel's dismay. I'd rarely had morning sickness, gained barely any extra weight and had pretty much sailed through the nine months. Everyone was surprised. I'm sure they'd all expected me to be a hormonal mess. To be honest, I had too but everything had been so _perfect_. Brittany and I were ridiculously excited. We'd been shopping for clothes and diapers and other things that babies needed for months and the nursery was ready before I'd even finished my second trimester. I was so proud that I was carrying Brittany's baby. Everyone that had ever doubted us were being proved wrong. I had a part of both Brittany and I growing inside of me and it felt amazing.

My labour had been a flurry of excitement and a constant stream of visitors. All of our friends were just as ecstatic as we were. We were the last couple in our group to have a baby and they were all so excited to see us go through the experience of bringing a new life into the world together. None of us could have predicted what happened next. It was unimaginable.

I'd first known that was something was wrong about twenty seconds after Natalia was placed in my arms. She was so beautiful. I could see myself in her as well as Brittany. But it didn't feel like she was mine. When I held her I felt the same thing I felt when I had held our friends kids; an overwhelming feeling of love but not a sense of belonging. It was ridiculous, I knew it was. I'd just pushed her out of my vagina for Christ's sake, she was definitely mine. But at the same time she wasn't. It was an indescribable feeling and it still is now. I knew I wasn't supposed to feel like that. When Quinn had given up Beth when we were sixteen she'd told me that she felt like part of her was being ripped apart. Looking at Natalia, I just didn't feel like that. I didn't worry when she was passed around each of our friends, I didn't miss her when the nurses took her away to bathe her. I loved her so much but just not in the way that a mother should. It terrified me. Was I really that heartless?

Mercedes was the first to notice that there was something wrong with me. She and Sam visited Lima six weeks after the baby was born. They lived in California now and ran a family restaurant. They had two kids of their own at that point, a son called Tyler and a daughter called Portia. One Saturday, Mercedes and the rest of the girls, plus Kurt, had come over to see me and Brittany while Sam went to a game with the guys. When Brittany had told me that Mercedes was coming over I had immediately felt uneasy. I had realised in high school that Mercedes had an uncanny ability for seeing things that other people missed. I'd done a good job of hiding how I was feeling from everyone else but I was terrified that Mercedes would see through it. And she did.

_We'd all been sitting in the living room having a coffee and catching up. When I say all, I mean everyone else. I was avoiding caffeine because I'd been having trouble sleeping and I wasn't really adding anything to the conversation because although they were my friends, I really couldn't care less about what they had to say. It was difficult for me to keep up with what they were saying and when I did, they pissed me off. It wasn't even like they were saying things that gave me a legitimate reason to be irritated with them; the littlest things were irking me. Like how Rachel held her coffee cup, or how Quinn would mockingly raise her eyebrows when Tina mentioned something that her baby had done, or how everyone would laugh adoringly when Brittany would add a comment. I normally loved these things but right now they were pissing me the fuck off. There was nothing I wanted to do more than just burst into tears. _

'_I think I'm gonna go to bed, Britt,' I sighed as I stood up from the couch and looked around the room at our friends, 'sorry girls, I'm really tired.'_

'_Oh, you poor thing,' Rachel said sympathetically as she sat her mug down on the coffee table, 'did Natalia keep you up last night?'_

'_No, we were really lucky last night and she only woke up once so I went through to settle her so that San could sleep,' Brittany told Rachel before she turned to looked up at me. I could tell from her eyes that she was concerned. 'Are you feeling okay, S?'_

'_I'm fine, B, I just have a really sore head and I'm so tired,' I sighed as I rubbed my temples. I knew that Mercedes' eyes were boring into me and it made me feel uncomfortable. The longer I stayed in that room meant that she had longer to notice that something was up and no good would come from it. I'd be made to talk about it in front of everyone. They'd all think I was a cold bitch or, even worse, an awful mother. _

'_You've been sleeping a lot, S, are you sure you're okay?' Quinn asked me worriedly. I could tell she was trying not to make it a big deal. _

'_Maybe you should eat something?' Kurt added as he offered me a plate. 'The cookies Tina brought are incredible.'_

'_If you're feeling a bit down, Santana, it's perfectly fine to talk to us about it,' Rachel began. 'We've all been there. Having a new baby is difficult and it's normal to feel overwhe-'_

'_I'm not overwhelmed, Berry, I just want to go to fucking sleep!' I interrupted her angrily. _

_They all went silent and stared at me, knowing they'd pushed me too far. I could feel the tears building in my eyes. I tried to blink them away but I knew they were going to fall. The last thing I needed was to break down in front of all of them. I quickly stormed out the room and ran upstairs to Brittany and I's bed before burying myself under the covers. I just wanted to escape. _

_Mercedes had followed me upstairs. She'd sat down on the edge of the bed beside me and rubbed my arm comfortingly while gently questioning me as to how I felt for half an hour. When she realised that I wasn't going to tell her anything, she left after making me promise that I would talk to someone if I felt any worse. I assured her that I would but of course I didn't follow through on it._

The problems between Brittany and I didn't start until a few months later. We'd always had an extremely physical relationship but after having the baby, I was just never really in the mood. It wasn't that I didn't find Brittany attractive anymore, far from it. She was still the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen in my life. I just didn't want to have sex. Brittany tried her best, I mean, _really tried_, to get me back into the swing of things but nothing worked. Walking around naked, jumping me when she came in from work, showering together, watching porn, lingerie. Absolutely none of it worked.

Ah, the lingerie night. I suppose that's when our real problems started.

_I had just come back from dropping Natalia off at my parents for the night. While my Dad was cooing over Talia, my Mom had taken me to the side and asked me about mine and Brittany's problems. I'd told her it how it was: I just really wasn't in the mood. She'd calmly explained to me that it was completely normal to feel that way, that you felt different _down there_, but the only thing to do was just to 'jump right back on the horse' and it would begin to feel normal again. I'd left my parent's house promising myself that I would try my best, for me and for Brittany. _

_When I got home, Brittany greeted me in the living room in a black lingerie set. I immediately gave up. It wasn't that it wasn't a nice view, the push up bra was very enjoyable, but the whole thing was just too forced. Before the baby we didn't need gimmicks like lingerie and toys, we were both just ridiculously attracted to each other. Brittany dressing up in lingerie, although nice, wasn't normal for us and that's how I wanted things to be; normal. _

_Maybe what happened next was my fault, maybe it wasn't. As Brittany walked towards me, I remembered my mother's words. 'Jump right back on the horse and I promise it will be the same as before, Santana'. So I had. For the first time in months, Brittany and I properly kissed. It felt nice, it really did, but there wasn't the same fire that had been there before. I could feel Brittany's passion but however much I tried, I just couldn't match it. _

_It was slow, excruciatingly slow. Normally with Brittany, I always knew what to do. I didn't have to think about where to put my hands or when to kiss her neck. But this was different. I didn't know what I was doing. I felt like I was driving a car for the first time or something. I knew what I had to do but it wasn't flowing naturally. Every move was calculated. I think Brittany noticed but she put it down to nerves. We hadn't done this in a long time and she knew that I knew how much she wanted it so she helped me, guiding my hands to where she wanted them, kissing me when she wanted to feel even closer to me. When she came, I felt an overwhelming sense of relieve. I'd done it. Yeah, it was weird but I'd get used to it. We both grinned at each other as she breathed heavily, still riding out her orgasm, but for different reasons. She thought we were back to normal while I was just happy to pass today's test. _

_However, the ecstasy was short lived. She rolled on to me, obviously ready to return the favour. I panicked. I didn't feel ready down there. She was kissing my neck, stroking my stomach. It felt nice. I was enjoying it. Maybe after you'd had a baby you felt different when you were turned on. Quinn hadn't mentioned it to me but then again, she hadn't mentioned a lot of things about pregnancy. Like how my boobs would ache, or how there was a chance I might get piles. She was just saving me from the bad stuff. Had I heard those things before the IVF, I definitely would have thought twice about getting pregnant. _

_I should have stopped Brittany, told her I was tired, asked to just cuddle. I know I should have but I couldn't. I wanted this, I wanted her. However, my body didn't. When Brittany dipped a finger under the waistband of my panties, we both stopped for a second. To be frank, I was as dry as the Sahara desert. I refused to let her stop. I bucked my hips up to her. We couldn't stop now, everything was going so well. She looked at me hesitantly but I nodded at her to continue. _

_So she did. Against both of our better judgements, she kept going. She did everything that used to drive me wild. Before the baby, I would have been a mess of sexual frustration, but now? I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was frustrated but in a completely different way. Why wasn't it working? What was wrong with me? I could tell that Brittany felt the same. I coaxed her into putting her fingers inside of me. It was sore. I gave myself a minute to adjust before telling her to move them in and out of me. She did what she was told. Still nothing. I closed my eyes and I imagined the way I used to feel when she did this, hoping that it would stir something within me. I could feel Brittany getting restless. My face was scrunched up in pain whilst she desperately pumped her fingers in and out of me, faster and faster. Tears formed in my eyes. It was so painful. It was too much. _

_I cried out in agony. Brittany shot away from me. We both looked at the tears that began to stream down each of our faces. She began apologising, over and over, begging me to forgive her. She couldn't bring herself to touch me. She'd hurt me and she hated herself for it. I knew that I needed to say something to her but the words wouldn't come. I just kept sobbing. She worked up the courage to place her hand on my leg, meaning to comfort me, but I flinched. Why did I flinch? If I could go back and change anything about that night, it would be that flinch. I never flinched when Brittany touched me, never. I would hug her instead, hold her in my arms and tell her I was sorry, assure her that it wasn't her fault. In that moment, the thing we both needed the most was each other but I'd pushed her away. _

_Brittany stood up. She was mumbling and I couldn't make out what she was saying. She wouldn't look at me. She quickly pulled on some clothes that were lying in a pile on the chair next to our dressing table. She ran her hands through her hair as the tears continued to stream down her face. Without turning round, she left the bedroom and ran downstairs. I should have stopped her from leaving but I was frozen. A few minutes later I heard her car start up and back out the drive way. Why didn't I stop her?_

_She came back at around four in the morning. I was still in the same position, curled up on my side on the bed, naked on top of the covers. Tears were still streaming down my face but not as heavily as they had been before. She climbed onto the bed beside me, still fully dressed, and pulled me towards her so that my back was fully pressed against her front. She'd had sex. I could smell it. A fresh wave of tears came over me as I began sobbing loudly. I felt her begin to cry too as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me even closer. She buried her head into the crook of my neck as we both cried until the sun rose. _

We never recovered from that night. Brittany tried to make it up to me but we both knew it was a lost cause. We didn't tell anyone what happened. To this day, I still haven't even told Quinn. Brittany and I didn't even talk about it. It's not like we forgot about it, I mean, how could we? We just chose to never talk about it. It was never mentioned. We both knew when the other was thinking about it, there just weren't any words to say how we felt about it. I still don't know how I feel about it. I understand that she was hurt and lonely. She felt rejected. She wanted someone to fill the void so when I couldn't, she went and found someone else who could. But did that make it right? She had cheated on me. I'd never cheated on Brittany. I'd stayed faithful to her since we were eighteen, even when we'd had a fight or when I was annoyed with her. Why couldn't she do the same for me? Why was I never enough for her? And now she was dating a guy?

I was interrupted from my thoughts when Quinn joined me on the porch of the cabin. She sat down next to me on the swinging chair as we both looked out onto the lake. This place really was beautiful. It would be great for a family vacation, if I had a family to take. Maybe I'd suggest to Quinn that we come back with Puck and the kids. Although, I wasn't sure whether we allowed back in the bar or not...

'How are you feeling?' Quinn asked me as I stubbed out my cigarette. She crossed her arms and pulled her cardigan closer to her body.

'Crap,' I replied shortly as I laid my head down on her shoulder.

'What were you doing out here? Apart from smoking,' she asked as she nodded towards the ash tray on the table beside me.

'Thinking about stuff,' I said as I looked out at the lake in front of us.

'What kind of stuff, hm?' Quinn asked me as she brushed the hair in front of my eyes out of the way. Sometimes I felt like Quinn was more like a really cool Mom to me than my friend. We had so much fun together, taking the kids out, going dancing, and getting drunk. Yet at the same time, I could go to her about all my problems and she would give me the best advice. She always listened to me. It was always about what I wanted, not anyone else.

'Brittany stuff,' I replied as I snuggled further into her. I paused and breathed in Quinn's smell. I felt relaxed. 'I really hate her, Q.'

'I know, honey,' Quinn replied quietly as she stroked my head, 'me too.'

'I still love her,' I said even quieter, hoping that Quinn wouldn't hear me.

'I know you do, S,' Quinn sighed as she hugged me even tighter, 'I do too.'

We both sat in silence as we watched a boat speed across the lake, taking in what we'd both just admitted to each other. We'd never spoken about this but we had both always known how the other felt.

'I miss her,' Quinn sighed as her voice broke.

I rubbed Quinn's thigh lightly as I tried to comfort her, the two of us longing for a third person to be there.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

'So how was 'Girls Weekend' with Quinn?' Kurt asked me over the phone as I looked through my emails.

'It was fun. Interesting, but fun,' I replied honestly as I desperately adjusted my pencil skirt. It was so fucking tight. Seriously, how was I supposed to sit down in this thing without cutting off the circulation to a vital organ?

I was in my office at work. I'd just finished the paper work for a case that had been closed earlier in the day. I'd gone back to work a few months after Brittany left when my depression had lifted a bit. I'd missed a lot but my boss was eager to have me back, even if it was only on a part time contract. I could have gone back full time but I knew that it would seriously alter how often I was able to see Natalia and now that we had bonded, I wasn't about to give up spending time with her. Going back to a work was difficult at first. Getting back into a routine when you've spent nearly two years doing nothing apart from feel sorry for yourself is a tough task to take on. As I got back into the swing of things though, I started to enjoy my work again. It was nice to have something to do again. It made me feel important. Plus, the fact I worked part time with flexible hours meant that I still had plenty of time to go round to Quinn's house and get ridiculously drunk in the middle of the afternoon.

'I can only imagine what you two got up to,' Kurt giggled into the phone. I chuckled. _If only he knew... _

'Did you meet anyone special?' He asked me hopefully.

'Nope, just me and Quinn and a bartender who thought we were prostitutes,' I laughed as I remembered the night at the bar.

'Oh lord, I don't even want to hear the end of that story,' Kurt groaned and I could tell that he had probably covered his face with one of his hands. 'You know, Santana, if you're interested, Blaine has this fr-'

'No, Kurt,' I said sternly as I frowned. He and Blaine were always trying to set me up with their lesbian friends and it never went well.

'Please, Santana, I promise you this one is great,' Kurt pleaded with me.

'You said that about the last one, Kurt.'

'How was I supposed to know she had a fetish for breast feeding? She seemed normal!'

'Well she definitely wasn't,' I replied quickly, 'it was fucking creepy, Kurt. The one before her was weird as well.'

'What do you have against flannel shirts, Santana? You're gay, get used to it.'

'I will never wear a flannel shirt and I will never be with someone who wears them, Kurt, no matter how hard you try. It's not my style.'

'Fine, Santana,' Kurt huffed, 'I'll never try to help you find someone again.'

'Thank you,' I replied smiling. That had shut him up. I paused before I continued. 'Why are you and Blaine pushing for me to meet someone anyway?'

I knew that Kurt knew what was going on between Brittany and this guy. He'd hinted that he'd known at the sports day but I'd assumed that it was about Louise. Berry seemed to know something as well when Quinn and I were round for dinner. However, there was more of a chance of Rachel squealing to Brittany that I'd been questioning her so I decided to get it out of Kurt instead.

'No reason, we just think that maybe you should try to move on, that's all,' Kurt replied sweetly, 'We want you to be happy.'

'That's cute,' I replied just as sweetly, 'but I have moved on. What's the real reason?'

I wasn't lying. I had moved on. Yeah, I still loved Brittany but I wasn't _in love _with her and I never wanted to be again. Just because I didn't want her to be with anyone else didn't mean that _I_ wanted to be with her. We'd done that and in the end I'd been a mess. She was my estranged wife and we had a child together, of course I was obsessed with who she was seeing. It was perfectly normal.

'That's the only reason, Santana,' Kurt replied quickly.

'But it's not though, is it?' I replied faster.

'Yes, it is.'

'No, it's not.'

'Yes, it is.'

'No, it's not.'

'It really is though.'

'But it's really not though.'

'Yes, it is, Santana!'

'But it's not, Kurt!'

'You need to move on.'

'But I have, Kurt,' I pressed. I was determined to get it out of him. 'Why is it so important that I meet someone?'

'It just is!'

'But why, Kurt?'

'Because it is!'

'Why?'

'Santana, I'm n-'

'Why?'

'Santana-'

'Why?'

'Don't do th-'

'Why, Kurt?'

'Because Brittany has!' Kurt practically screamed at me. _Jackpot._

'Oh, really?' I smirked. It wouldn't be difficult for me to get more information out of him. 'Who?'

'No, I've already said too much,' Kurt huffed at me. 'It's not my thing to tell you.'

'Well nobody else fucking is so you'll have to,' I snapped back.

'You'll need to ask Brittany about it.'

'No, Kurt, you know she won't tell me,' I sighed angrily.

'Then maybe you don't need to know about,' he retorted.

'If this person is spending time with _my_ daughter then I'd say I do need to fucking know about it,' I growled at him. 'God, why will nobody tell me what's going on? I'm not crazy anymore!'

'Fine, I'll tell you,' Kurt sighed heavily. I smirked into the phone, the crazy card always worked. I could tell he was regretting calling me. 'His name is Brett. He's a personal trainer and he moved here from Columbus about a year ago. He's divorced and his son lives with his ex-wife. Can I go now?'

'No, tell me more,' I requested as I logged into Facebook on my computer. 'What's his full name? Tell me everything you know.'

'Santana, I really don't think this is appropriate,' Kurt said desperately.

'Do it, Kurt, or I'll be blindsided and will slip into a deep depression and you'll have to take me to the loony bin this time,' I teased him as I looked up this Brett guy.

'Don't joke about that, Santana!' Kurt yelled at me before he continued. 'His name is Brett McCallum and he's thirty eight. He graduated from Michigan State, his favourite food is lasagne, he wears chinos or sport shorts, he has a seven year old son who lives with his ex-wife, he's a Republican-'

'Wait, what?' I shouted in disbelief. 'He's a Republican but he's divorced and is dating a woman who has a child from a lesbian relationship?'

'I know, I was really shocked too,' Kurt explained, 'but he seems to be one of the more 'forward thinking' ones, if that's possible.'

'Okay, continue,' I replied angrily. Not only was Brittany dating a guy, she was dating a Republican. Could he be any more opposite than me?

'Okay, so he's a Republican,' Kurt continued, 'he likes country music, he has a sister, Louise, his family have a cabin at Lake Baldwin, he has never seen Wicked, he calls Natalia 'Natty' and he's good at drawing cartoons.'

'He calls her _what_?' I barked down the phone.

'He calls her 'Natty', Santana,' Kurt replied quietly. He knew he'd said something wrong.

'How many times has he met her?' I asked in disbelief. Three days ago I didn't even know this guy existed and now I found out that he had a nickname for my daughter? I pulled up his profile on Facebook_. Four mutual friends? What th-_. 'Hold on a minute, how many times have you met him, Kurt?'

'A few,' Kurt replied meekly.

'How many times do you mean by a few? Don't mess with me, Hummel, I'm so fucking pissed off right now,' I warned him angrily. The four mutual friends were Kurt, Blaine, Rachel and Finn. So they'd all met him yet I hadn't even heard of him? I was going to fucking destroy Brittany.

'The first time I met him was at dinner at Brittany's, then at Tina and Mike's, then at Rachel and Finn's, then he...' Kurt cut away at the end.

'What was that, lady boy?'

'Then he came for dinner at our house,' Kurt whispered. He knew what was coming.

'Are you fucking kidding me, Kurt?' I screamed down the phone as I shot up from my desk. 'When was the last time I came round to yours for dinner?'

'That's not fair, Santana! Blaine and I always invite you and Quinn but the two of you are too preoccupied with your little middle of the afternoon drinking sessions to turn up!' Kurt huffed at me.

'That is not true!'

'Oh, really? It's two o'clock now, you finish at three. Where are you planning on going after?' Kurt asked me.

I didn't reply.

'Exactly, so don't give me your 'I didn't get an invite' bullshit,' Kurt yapped, 'and the pair of you better show up to Amelia's birthday on Saturday or so help me God.'

'Don't get your speedo in a twist, Kurt, we'll be there,' I retorted. 'Do we bring our own Pinot Grigio or are you supplying it?'

'Bring your own, god dammit!' Kurt snapped back. 'And save the inappropriate behaviour until after we've done the cake please. In fact, no inappropriate behaviour at all unless you want to make a fool of yourself in front of Brett.'

'Why the fuck will Brett be there?' I replied, standing up straighter. 'Why the hell is he invited?'

'Because he is Brittany's significant other and Brittany is my friend,' Kurt replied defensively.

'It's Amelia's birthday, Kurt, not yours,' I answered back.

'Yes, well Amelia likes him and Blaine and I do too,' Kurt shot back, 'maybe even more than we like you!'

'That was a low blow,' I replied angrily.

'You don't deserve my respect right now,' Kurt said indignantly, 'you tricked me into telling you things I shouldn't have.'

'Whatever, like you wouldn't have told me anyway,' I replied whilst rolling my eyes. 'Are you coming to Quinn's today or not?'

'Well of course I am now, this conversation has made me want to drink a bottle of vodka straight,' Kurt huffed at me, 'and you should supply it!'

'Bring your own!' I mocked him before going to hang up.

'Wait, Santana?' Kurt yelled into the phone.

'What is it now, fancy pants?' I sighed at him.

'Why weren't you surprised when I said it was a guy?' he asked me.

'When you said who was a guy?'

'Brett, Santana, Brett!' Kurt cried exasperatedly.

_Shit._ I wasn't surprised that the person Brittany was seeing was a guy because Quinn and I had spied on her from a fucking bush. I couldn't tell Kurt that. It would definitely get back to Brittany somehow. It would make us look insane. We didn't even mean to spy on Brittany. Yeah, Quinn had booked for us to stay at the same resort as her on the purpose but they only reason we'd seen her was because a drunk Quinn had fallen over a stick. _Fucking alcohol, it was always causing me problems. _

'Why would I be surprised?' I asked Kurt innocently. 'Brittany's bi, she's always liked guys.'

'But it doesn't shock you?' he pressed me, 'I know that if Blaine and I were to split up I would be devastated if he got with a woman.'

'Yeah, well it's pretty shitty but I don't think it's as shitty as her walking out on me after I attempted suicide,' I snapped. I hated bringing that up but it was the only way to get Kurt to stop asking me questions.

'Sorry, Santana, I shouldn't have asked,' Kurt apologised. 'I'll see you at Quinn's at three-thirty for our Real Housewives drinking game?'

'It's fine,' I sighed. I shouldn't have brought it up. Kurt had taken my depression really badly. 'I'm going to leave soon; I have a few things to finish before I leave. I'll see you soon.'

Kurt said goodbye to me before hanging up. I looked out my office window at the city. In three days I had to attend a children's birthday party where there would no doubt be me, Quinn and a group of 'blogging mommies'. To make it even worse, Brittany would be there with her boyfriend. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Quinn.

**Lady Lips blabbed. I have a name and he's going on Saturday. Just about to leave work, get the wine ready. –S x **

I logged off my computer and cleared off my desk before slinging my hand bag over my shoulder and heading out the office door. When I got to my car, my phone vibrated as I received a text.

**Lezpez, it's Puck. Whatever you two are up to, either stop it now or let me in on it. And stop drinking my wine! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry I've not done one of these in a while, I've just not had much to say to be honest. Thank you so much for all the reviews, I really appreciate all of your feedback. It helps me to see what you all want to see more of and gives me more ideas for what to write.**

**I especially want to address what many of you have been writing about in your reviews. I've had a lot of feedback on the Quinn/Santana friendship, understandably so as the story is told entirely from Santana's POV and much of her discussions regarding Brittany happen with Quinn. I love the Quinntana friendship myself and I wish that it had been explored more on the show so I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying it in this story.**

**I'd also like to add that Santana and Quinn are NOT alcoholics (by my standards anyway). I find the alcoholic Santana storyline to be a bit overdone so I don't plan on including it in this story. Quinn and Santana are just friends who enjoy a drink together. They are partly inspired by my own mum and my neighbours who would drink in the garden when they looked after us in the summer holidays. It was just something they did and most of my friends mums did it too. None of them are alcoholics either btw.**

**The 'Mom's Brigade' reference I used in the sports day chapter was also taken from my mum. It's what she called the stay at home mums at my primary school who were at every school event and always came in to help in classes. She worked full time and found their chirpiness and constant digs about her not staying at home really annoying. She gets great joy from the fact that the majority of them are divorced now since their kids have grown up and they have nothing in common with their husbands anymore while my mum and dad are still married after twenty six years because they made sure they still had a life outside of me and my sister. My mum is really nice, I swear. She's just not really a conventional mother ha. **

**Anyway, here's the next chapter. It's the longest so far so I hope you're all happy with it. If you want to ask me anything about the story or just leave a genereal comment about it, please leave a review and I'll get back to you on this. Hope you're all well :).**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

'This is going to be awful,' Puck groaned while he adjusted the box of wine under his arm as we walked around the side of Kurt and Blaine's house to get to the backyard. Quinn and I were carrying presents for Amelia while Carter and Lucas ran in front as Josh toddled after them.

'Why is it going to be awful for you?' I snorted as I looked at his pained expression.

'Because I'm going to have to deal with you two after you drink this entire box of wine between you,' he moaned, 'and the parents at these parties are irritating as hell. The dudes are so boring and the wives are so straight laced.'

'Don't complain about me and Santana then, Noah,' Quinn smirked as she chastised him. 'Would you rather we were like those women?'

'Of course not,' he retorted, matching her smirk, 'but I'd rather you weren't functioning alcoholics either.'

'Asshole,' Quinn laughed as I smacked the back of Puck's head as we all walked through the gate into the backyard.

It looked beautiful; Kurt and Blaine really knew how to decorate. It had been split into two sections. On the patio there was a large table with Amelia's birthday cake on display while snacks were arranged neatly in little pink bowls around it. The rest of the patio was covered with deck chairs for the parents to sit on and the occasional round table to rest their drinks. The grass had been turned into a giant play area. A large bouncy castle stood in the middle while little stalls littered the rest of the grass. There was a bubble machine, a clown, a man spinning plates, a po- _wait, is that a petting zoo?_

'Jesus Christ, she's turning 5, not getting married,' Puck muttered as he swatting a piece of the bunting that was hung up all around the yard away from his face.

'There you are!' Blaine exclaimed as he came towards us with open arms. 'I was starting to worry that you guys weren't going to show up!'

'The invitation said twelve, it's only a quarter past,' Quinn frowned as she hugged Blaine and handed him the gift bags.

'I know but Tina and some of the other moms came round early to help out, it was really nice of them,' Blaine smiled as he moved on to hug me, 'but then I remembered that you two aren't really like that and that you'd be a few minutes late.'

'Like what?' I asked him sharply. Who gives a fuck if I didn't come to a stupid birthday party ten minutes early to put out some chairs? I had other things to deal with, like the fact I had to prepare to come face to face with Brittany and her _boyfriend_.

'You know, motherly,' Blaine mumbled. He quickly back tracked when he saw the looks of Quinn and I's faces. 'Not like that! I just mean that you two aren't overly 'momsy', most of the other moms here are on the PTA.'

I looked at Quinn in disbelief before opening to my mouth to fucking _destroy_ Blaine.

'I'm sure if you'd asked Quinn and Santana to come round early they would have,' Puck interrupted quickly before I could get a word in. He looked pissed. 'Just because they have lives outside of their children's doesn't mean that they're bad mothers. Besides, it _your_ kids birthday, set up your freaking bubble machine by yourself. Come on ladies, let's go sit at the 'irresponsible parents' table.'

'You didn't need to say anything, Puck,' I told him as we sat down at a table near the back of the patio, 'we could have handled it ourselves.'

'I'm sick of people acting like you and Quinn are bad mothers,' Puck ranted as he took a bottle of wine out of the box that he had been carrying, 'So what if you're not on the freaking PTA and like a drink? It's not against the fucking law! You two are the best mothers I know. Yeah, you tried to kick the bucket but that was two years ago, everyone needs to get over it already. You're not an unfit mother. I wouldn't let my daughter live with you if you weren't.'

'Your daughter?' I asked him confused. Beth didn't live with me, what was he talking about?

'Natalia. I looked after her a lot when you were sick and I kinda think of her as my own. I'd do anything for that kid,' Puck mumbled shyly as he looked away.

'Really?' I smiled warmly at him. 'That is so sweet, Puck. Thank you. I'm glad she has a guy like you around.'

'Aw, Noah!' Quinn cried as she kissed him on the cheek. 'I knew I married you for a reason! Thank you for sticking up for us.'

'Don't sweat it,' Puck said as he put his arms around us both. 'You two are my girls. I kinda think of us as a three way marriage.'

'We're sister wives, Q,' I smirked at her.

'I would invite you into the marriage bed if I didn't know that you'd be more interested in my wife than me,' Puck laughed.

'Shut up, Puckerman,' I snorted as Quinn smacked him round the back of the head.

'Speaking of the little cutie, here she is now!' Puck smiled as he pointed to the gate.

I turned to see Natalia running towards me. This weekend was Brittany's so I hadn't seen her yet. She looked so cute as her long dark hair billowed behind her as she ran. It was a shame me and Brittany didn't have more kids, they would have been gorgeous.

'Mami!' Natalia cried excitedly as I picked her up and snuggled her on my lap. 'I missed you!'

'I missed you too, baby,' I whispered as I kissed the top of her head. 'What have you been up to?'

'Yesterday I went to Aunt Mike and Uncle Tina's house. It was fun because I played ponies but then I wanted to go home because Aunt Tina made me eat cauliflower cheese. I don't like her anymore,' Natalia grumbled as she crossed her arms, her frown making her look like my double.

'Quinn smirked at me before she turned to talk to Natalia. 'Don't eat anything nasty Aunt Tina makes you if you don't like it, Talia. I would never make you eat cauliflower cheese because I know that you don't like it.'

'You make the nicest food, Aunt Quinnie,' Natalia grinned back at Quinn as she clapped her hands excitedly. 'You're my favourite Auntie.'

'Oh, really?' I asked her as I tapped her nose playfully. 'And why's that?'

'Because she's the nicest,' Natalia smiled at both of us before turning to Quinn and giggling, 'and I like it best when you and Mami drink lots of adult juice and laugh a lot and dance really weird in the kitchen. It's funny.'

'You are too cute,' Quinn smiled as she squeezed Natalia's cheek and kissed her forehead.

'Let's keep the adult juice and dancing a secret from Mommy though,' I whispered in her ear as I stroked her hair. Brittany and her lawyer would have a field day with that information.

'Does Uncle Puck get a hug and a kiss from his favourite little girl in the whole world?' Puck asked Talia teasingly as he held his arms out to her. I smiled as she clamoured out of my lap and into Puck's. I could see what Puck meant as thinking of her as one of his own. He was so loving with her. Natalia adored him. _Take that Brett._

'Here,' Quinn said as she thrust a glass of wine into my hand, 'I have a feeling this is going to be a long afternoon.'

* * *

><p>Two hours and three bottles of wine between us later, Quinn and I were having a great time. We were in the bouncy castle with Carter and Lucas whilst Puck stood laughing watching us as he held a sleeping Josh in his arms. Talia had been with us too but she'd gone off with Rachel and Sophia to pet a goat or something. Quinn and I were having a great time with the boys trying to see who could jump the highest. I was definitely winning; I had it in the bag.<p>

_**Thump!**_

Oh shit. I was on the ground. _Ouch, that hurt..._

'Shi- umm, golly, Santana,' Puck corrected himself as he noticed all the kids around us, 'are you okay?'

'Oh no, I've fallen out the tower!' I yelled as I looked at the blue sky above me. I was flat on my back in the middle of Kurt and Blaine's yard at a five year olds birthday party where no doubt about thirty other parents were staring at me. I would have cared that they were judging me if I wasn't thinking about how nice the sky looked. _The clouds were so pretty._

'I'll save you, queen Santana!' Lucas yelled as he jumped off the bouncy castle and kneeled beside me.

'Oh, Prince Lucas, you saved me!' I played along as I fluttered my eyelashes at him. Maybe I could play off my blatant drunken state by pretending I was playing a game. _Although, a drinking game would be much more fun. Or body shots..._

'Hooray, Prince Lucas saves the day!' Quinn hollered as she waved Carter's hands in the air. 'Bring her back to castle so that we can have a royal banquet!'

'Come on, my lady,' Lucas smiled sweetly at me as he held his hand out to help me up. _What a sweetheart. And people said Quinn was a bad mother. Here we were playing kingdom with her sons whilst the 'perfect moms' sat at their little crappy tables on the patio with each other. Quinn and I were the best moms ever..._

'Why thank you, kind sir,' I curtseyed as I stood back up. _Wow, I was dizzy. Were we having an earthquake?_

'Oh my God, Santana,' Kurt hissed as he scampered towards me. 'What the hell is wrong with you?'

'I was thrown out the castle by an evil dragon,' I told him as I pointed at Quinn. He rolled his eyes as she growled at him before I continued, 'but then I was saved by a handsome Prince!'

'No, Santana, you fell out of the bounce house because you and Quinn are on your fourth bottle of Chardonnay!' He hissed at me again as he grabbed me by the wrist. _Hiss, hiss, hiss. He was like a snake. A creepy little slimy gay snake._

'That may be true, but I think I covered it well,' I whispered to him as I gave him an over exaggerated wink and nudged him in the side. 'They have no idea.'

I pointed at the other moms who were all sitting on the patio. They were all looking in our direction and whispering. _It was probably about Kurt's outfit, he totally didn't suit yellow._

'They definitely noticed, Santana,' Kurt growled as he looked between me and Quinn, 'what the hell is wrong with you two? This is a children's party!' He looked over at Puck exasperatedly. 'Why aren't you doing something?'

'Hey, I'm looking after this one,' Puck nodded at the sleeping Josh in his arms, 'besides, they're big girls. It's not my job to boss them around.'

'Yes, but you have a responsibility to tell them when to stop drinking. You know that they don't know when to stop,' Kurt hissed away. He was still holding onto my wrist. I pouted as it began to hurt. He kept flapping it about.

'Lighten up, Kurt, it's just a bit of fun,' Puck shot back. 'Everyone has a drink at these things, you need to or else you wouldn't last!'

'Not everyone,' Kurt huffed as he looked between the three of us, 'I haven't, Blaine hasn't, Brittany hasn't-'

'Oh, well if _Brittany_ hasn't then I suppose none of us should,' I scoffed as I rolled my eyes at him. He steadied me as I stumbled back a bit. 'Everyone should do as _Brittany_ does because _Brittany_ is a _perfect _human being who is always right. Hey, you should walk out on Blaine, Kurt, because that's what _Brittany_ did!'

'Not now, Santana,' Puck said quietly as he stepped towards me. He looked worried now and his eyes were darting around us.

'No, Puckerman, don't tell me what to fucking do,' I snapped back as I finally yanked my wrist away from Kurt, 'Where is that bitch? I have some things to say to her.'

'Seriously, Santana, you'll regret it,' Puck whispered as he stepped closer towards me. 'You're going through a divorce now and you'll have to come to a custody agreement. She'll use this against you.'

'Use what against me?' I slurred questioningly at him. 'This is her fault. She did this to me. Poor Brett, I'm sure he's a nice guy but she'll probably screw him over too. She's no doubt on her knees in the pantry right now with some other guy.'

'What are you talking about?' Puck asked me, his eyes widening as he took in what I said.

Fuck. I'd never told anyone that Brittany had cheated on me. I didn't want them to know. It was embarrassing. _I'm Santana fucking Lopez, no one cheats on me. I'm a hot bitch with magic lady loving fingers. Ooh, lady fingers. What I'd do for some trifle right now..._

'Nothing, I just want some water. Go and fetch me some if you would be so kind, _bum boy_,' I snarled at Kurt as I snapped my fingers at him.

He flared his nostrils angrily as he looked between me and Puck. I could tell he wanted to say something but he sighed and walked away in the direction of the kitchen instead after Puck gave him a look. _Dude, chillax. It was a joke._ _Since when did Kurt have such a big stick up his ass? Surely Blaine wasn't that big. Ha ha, I crack myself up._

'Right, Lopez, time to sit down,' Puck sighed as he led me towards one of the deck chairs.

'Don't worry, Pucky, I'll be fine,' I sighed back as I closed my eyes. _I was so sleepy..._

* * *

><p>'Santana.'<p>

I thought my eyes had been shut for about thirty seconds before they snapped open to the sound of that voice but the colour of the sky told me otherwise. _That_ voice. That voice was the last thing I wanted to hear right now.

'Yes, Brittany?' I groaned as I opened my eyes to look at her. She scowled down at me.

'Are you drunk?' she asked me angrily.

'I'm about as drunk as you are slutty,' I replied airily, closing my eyes again and leaning my head back. 'So, yes. _Incredibly_.'

'Don't talk to me like that,' she shot back angrily, 'I'm trying to be civil.'

'I don't know the meaning of the word when it comes to you,' I said monotonously as I rubbed my temples. _Where was Kurt with that fucking water? _

'Stop it, Santana,' Brittany snapped, 'and open your eyes. I want you to meet someone.'

'Oh, I wonder who it could be?' I asked sarcastically as I opened my eyes. Sure enough, there was Brett, looking all six foot two muscle and blonde. _Urgh, I want to barf._

'This is Brett, my boyfriend,' Brittany said as she introduced us.

'Hey, Santana, it's great to meet you. I've heard so much about you from everyone,' Brett smiled at me as he held his hand out for me to shake. _Poor guy, he didn't know what he was getting himself in for._

'Why hello, Brett, it's nice to finally meet you too,' I replied in a sickly sweet tone as I ignored his hand, 'I've been told a lot about you as well.'

'You have?' Brittany asked me looking confused. _No change there then._

'Yeah, I had a great conversation with Kurt the other day,' I smirked at her, 'It was very informative. I learned all about Brett.'

'Like what?' Brittany asked me warily. _She looked worried and she had a good fucking reason to be._

'You know, the usual. Like how he loves lasagne and moved here from Columbus. Oh, and I almost forgot how he calls Natalia, our daughter, 'Natty'. Isn't that just precious?' I asked her viciously.

Brett looked between us nervously as he watched Brittany and I stare each other down. She was in the wrong this time, not me. She knew she was busted. She was crazy if she thought I was going to go easy on her.

'Can we go somewhere to talk for a minute please?' Brittany asked me quietly.

'Why not, it's not like I've got anything better to do,' I sighed as I stood up and looked at Brittany straight in the eyes. 'Where to then? I've not got all day.'

Brittany turned to Brett and gave him an apologetic look and a peck on the cheek. He smiled back at her and then at me. I glared at him. _Was this guy retarded or something_? Brittany rolled her eyes at me and told me to follow her inside. As I walked behind her, I turned around and searched for Quinn. She was stood at the bubble machine with Natalia and Lucas looking worried as she noticed that I was with Brittany at her. I gave her a small nod to show her that I was fine and she gave me a short smile in return. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a friend.

As we entered the house, I realised that is was going to be difficult for us to find somewhere to talk alone. There were people everywhere. Blaine was in the hall talking to some of those stupid moms about a macaroon recipe, Finn was in the kitchen with some of the others going over prices for those stupid granite worktops he makes, Rachel was in the living room trying to convince Alexis that she wasn't too old to be at a kid's birthday party and Tina was sitting on the stairs breastfeeding (yes, breastfeeding) her THREE YEAR OLD CHILD. _That woman is fucking batshit. Wait til I tell Quinn about this..._

'Come in here,' Brittany sighed as she pulled me inside the bathroom. It was small so she put the toilet seat down and sat on it while I leaned against the sink. We stayed in silence until she spoke up. 'We have a lot to talk about.'

'You bet we do,' I snorted as I looked her straight in the eye, 'I'll give you a chance to explain yourself.'

'I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about Brett, Santana,' Brittany began after taking a deep breath. ' I should have told you sooner and it was wrong of me to introduce him to Talia without telling you first. I went on vacation to Lake Baldwin last week, Louise is his sister. I was meeting his parents.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' I asked her coldly.

'I wanted to wait until it was serious to tell you,' Brittany answered honestly. 'We've never done this before so I wanted to make sure that it was a stable relationship before I mentioned it.'

'So you waited until you met his parents to tell me but you let him meet my daughter before that? What would have happened to her if you had broken up? Are you going to do this all the time, introduce her to your boyfriends and not even tell me?' I was so angry. She couldn't apologise her way out of this one, I was too pissed.

'It was wrong, Santana, I'm really sorry. I completely understand why you're hurt.'

'Do you really though, Brittany? Of course I'm fucking hurt. Why should you be the one that gets to move on and be happy? You left me. I tried to fucking kill myself, I cried out for your help and you fucking walked out. You left me with nothing and now you're practically getting ready to give Natalia a Dad? How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?'

'Santana, I'm really sorry, I am,' Brittany pleaded. I could see the tears in her eyes and hear them in her voice but refused to give in. 'I would change so many things that I did if I could but I can't. You need to let me move on.'

'Maybe you don't deserve to move on, Brittany,' I snapped at her, 'maybe you should think about what you did. You weren't innocent in this marriage falling apart.'

'I know I wasn't, San,' Brittany whispered as she stood up to come face to face with me, 'it was all my fault.'

'You're right, it was,' I told her shortly. 'I was always there for you whenever you needed me, always, even for silly stuff. The one time I needed you was fucking huge and you deserted me.'

'I was scared,' Brittany told me quietly as her tears began to stream down her face.

'And you think I fucking wasn't?' I asked her in disbelief. 'I was fucking terrified, Britt! I didn't have a clue what was going on! I felt so empty and all I need was for you to tell me that you were there for me and you didn't!'

'I couldn't,' Brittany mumbled as she tried to brush away her tears. They kept falling.

'Come on, Brittany, you brought me in here to talk so fucking talk!' I yelled at her. I was past being civil, I wanted answers now.

'I didn't know if it was going to be okay!' she cried as she finally spoke up. She stopped bothering to wipe her tears away and let them flow freely. 'I didn't know how to help you, you weren't my Santana anymore! You were always so strong and confident but after the baby you were a mess. I didn't know what to do and I freaked out, okay! I couldn't bear to see you like that anymore so I left. You have no idea how scary it was for me when I found you, Santana. When I pulled you out from under the water I thought you were dead. You didn't even recognise me. I thought I'd lost you but then I realised that I'd lost you a long time ago. So yes, I left you but you left me long before that!'

'That is such bullshit, Brittany!' I screamed at her. 'You just couldn't be bothered anymore! You probably wanted me dead so that you could carry on screwing other people!'

'I would never wish you dead, Santana, don't say that!' Brittany cried as she grabbed my arm. 'I love you too much to ever want you to die!'

'You love me, huh?' I laughed at her as I tried to pull my arm away from her. 'Well, you've got a funny way of proving it.'

That's when it happened. I went to turn around to leave the bathroom but she spun me back round. I didn't know what was happening at first, it was so fast. My face felt warm. A forgotten but familiar feeling came into my stomach. I felt her soft lips against mine and I melted. She was kissing me. It was open mouthed, both her lips wrapped around my bottom one. We stayed like that for a while, neither of us moving as we remembered what it felt like to be this way with one another. Then our lips slowly started against each others like the past four years had never happened. The kiss was soft and slow to begin with but then it began to get faster as we remembered what each other's mouths felt like. I couldn't tell you what was going on, I couldn't think. All I could feel was her lips against mine. It wasn't until I felt a wet tongue swipe across my bottom lip that I came to my senses.

'What the hell are you doing?' I yelled at Brittany as I pushed her off of me. 'Get the fuck away from me!'

'Santana, please-' Brittany pleaded as she reached out for me with her hand.

'You have no right to do this!' I whispered angrily at her as I pushed her hand away. 'Not now, not after everything that's gone on!'

'Santana, please, let me explain!' Brittany cried as she reached out for me again in vain.

'No! I'm not letting you do this to me again!' I was shaking with anger and tears. 'You ruined my life, Brittany! I'm not letting you do to him what you did to me! You're not using me to cheat!'

'Don't leave, Santana, please,' Brittany howled as her tears overwhelmed her. 'I love you so much, please don't leave.'

'Maybe you should have thought of that before you left me,' I whispered as I took one last look at her and walked out the bathroom door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi everyone! Thanks for the response to the last chapter, I wasn't sure about it but all the reviews were great so you obviously approved. Sorry for the wait for this update, I didn't really know how to continue after the amazing reviews I got but I managed to force something out. Hopefully it's enough! x**

**Chapter Ten**

To say that I felt like death would be an understatement. It was the day after Amelia's birthday party and I was definitely regretting drinking all that wine when I woke up the next morning. This was the worst hangover I'd ever had in my life but I didn't know why. I'd drank way more than that before. Maybe it was all that jumping around on the bounce house? I hadn't eaten before I went either, or at the party. I groaned as I realised that I hadn't even eaten when I got home after storming out of Kurt and Blaine's house. _Why had I left in such a hurry?_

_Oh yeah, that's why._ I pursed my lips and rubbed my temples as I remembered the events of yesterday. Brittany had asked to talk to me. We'd gone in the bathroom. I gave her a hard time. She apologised. I gave her a hard time again. She apologised again. She told me she loved me. I went off on her. She kissed me. I kissed her back. Then I ran from the house screaming like a banshee on acid. _Fuck._

What the hell was Brittany playing at? She introduced me to her fucking _boyfriend_ then took me to the bathroom and attempted to make out with me. Was she insane? She's divorcing me for Christ's sake. I'm not her little play thing, she can't decide to just take me back when she feels like it.

'Good morning, sunshine,' Quinn's voice sang as she interrupted me from my fury as she walked into my bedroom with a mug. 'I hope you don't mind that I let myself in.'

'That better not be alcohol, Quinn, or I will punch you in the face,' I warned her as I scowled at her from my duvet.

'Relax, its coffee,' Quinn smirked as she carefully handed me the mug. 'I assumed you'd need it after you left yesterday. You didn't even say goodbye, where did you go?'

I groaned as I realised that I was going to have to retell the whole sorry tale to Quinn.

'You look pissed, it must be juicy,' Quinn smirked again as she quickly sat down cross legged in front of me on the bed. 'The last I saw you, you were going into the house with Brittany. What happened?'

'So I was having a nap,' I began as I sat up and leaned against the headboard, 'and Brittany woke me up so that she could introduce me to Brett.'

'Yeah, I saw him,' Quinn interrupted me. 'He looked... wholesome.'

'I know, right?' I snorted as I remembered when he attempted to shake my hand. 'Okay, so she introduces me to Brett and I was like, 'I already know all about him'. So then she asked me if we could talk somewhere so we went into the house but there were people everywhere so the only place we could go was the bathroom. She apologised for not telling me about Brett and for introducing him to Talia without asking me first but I felt like she just expected me to accept her apology so I went off on her and told her that it wasn't fair for her to want to me to take her bullshit apology when she's been lying to me. Then she started crying and told me that she loved me and-'

'Wait, what?' Quinn screeched at me. 'She told you she loves you?'

'Yeah, and then she kissed me!' I cried back.

'WHAT?' Quinn screamed at me, her eyes wide with shock. 'She kissed you? Holy fucking shit! Has she lost her mind?'

'I know!' I replied quickly. 'Who the hell does she think she is?'

'She can't mess with you like that, 'Quinn said as she shook her head. 'Too much has happened.'

'I pushed her off me and started screaming at her and then she broke down, like howling, and told me not to leave her and that she loves me _'so much'_. What the fuck is that about?' I asked Quinn in disbelief. I still couldn't believe that it had happened.

'She asked _you_ not to leave _her_?' Quinn looked back at me dumbfounded. 'I don't even know what to say, I'm in shock.'

'So was I,' I said as I shook y head and took a sip of my coffee. 'I mean, she's divorcing me. It's not normal to kiss someone you're divorcing.'

'You guys are still getting divorced?' Quinn asked me with evident shock in her voice.

'Of course we are.'

'But you can't, not now!' Quinn squeaked at me.

'Why the fuck not?' I asked her harshly. 'This gives me even more reason to sign those papers.'

'But she loves you, Santana!' Quinn argued back. 'You have to find out what's going on before the two of you throw it away!'

'It was thrown away when she walked out on me, Quinn!' I was really pissed off at her now. Why did she suddenly want me to give Brittany a chance? 'You've said plenty of shit about Brittany since it happened, why have you changed your tune now?'

'I didn't think that she loved you!' Quinn cried back at me. 'Now that we know that she does, you should listen to what she has to say.'

'I'm not fucking doing it, Quinn!' I replied harshly. 'She's had years to explain herself but she's never fucking bothered her ass. Nothing she says now is going to change anything. Me and Brittany are done, over.'

'But Santana-'

'No, Quinn. We're done.'

* * *

><p>Four hours later I was in the kitchen talking to Natalia while she ate her lunch at a stool next to the island. Rachel had dropped her off just after Quinn had left. Apparently, Brittany had been really upset at the party and Rachel and Finn had offered for Natalia to stay at their house. Berry attempted to question me on why I didn't seem shocked that Brittany had been upset but I'd given her a look that told her not to push me.<p>

'Did you like the party, Mami?' Natalia asked me as she brushed her long dark hair away from her face.

'It was great, baby. Do you want more water?' I asked her as I picked up her empty glass.

'Yes, please,' Natalia replied politely before she went back to her tuna sandwich. 'It was really funny when you and Aunt Quinn were on the bounce house!'

'Did you like that, huh?' I laughed as I placed a fresh glass of water in front of her. 'I think that me and your Aunt Quinn were the most fun grown-ups at that party.'

'Yep!' Natalia nodded enthusiastically as she grabbed the glass with two hands and took a sip.

'Did you have a good time, baby?' I asked her gently as I leaned over the counter and stroked her head.

'It was so much fun. All my Aunts and Uncles were there but Uncle Kurt and Uncle Blaine were really moody,' Natalia wrinkled her nose as she told me.

'I think they were just stressed about having all those people at their house, sweetheart. The other mommies can be mean sometimes,' I explained to her.

'I didn't like it when Uncle Kurt was mean to you when you fell out the bounce house,' Natalia said quietly. I watched her as she carefully set her glass back down before I replied.

'Don't worry, Talia, Mama knows how to deal with Uncle Kurt when he's like that,' I said smugly. I hadn't said anything to Kurt at the party but he was going to get an earful when I next saw him.

'Because you're from Lima Heights Adjacent!' Natalia shouted excitedly as she fist pumped the air.

'That's right, baby,' I cooed at her. I had never been so proud.

Natalia and I continued chatting as she finished her lunch. I loved spending time with her but it never felt like enough. I wished that she got both parents all the time instead of half a week with each one. Brittany and I splitting was tough on me but I can't even imagine what it must be like for Natalia. It broke my heart that she was completely used to us not being together. She wasn't even two when Brittany left so she couldn't even remember when we were a couple. I always felt so lucky growing up because my parents were together, unlike the parents of many of my classmates. Before Natalia was born, I'd promised myself that I'd do everything I could to make her life perfect but I'd failed on the most important thing of her childhood, a stable upbringing. She'd never said anything but I knew that she must look at her cousins' families and see the difference. Carter, Lucas and Josh had a mom and a dad, and they all lived together. Did it bother her?

'Talia, does it bother you that me and Mommy don't live together?' I burst out. _Oh crap, did I really want to know?_

'Sometimes,' she replied honestly as she finished off her grapes.

'When, baby?' I asked her carefully.

'When a funny thing happens and I want to tell you and Mommy but I can only tell one of you and I have to remember the story to tell the other. Sometimes I forget the story,' Natalia winced as she told me the last part.

'It's okay, Mama forgets things too,' I reassured her. 'Is there anything you like?'

'I like having two bedrooms and two Christmas',' Natalia told me with a toothy grin.

'Of course you do,' I chuckled as I took her now empty plate over to the sink.

'LEZPEZ!'

'I'm in the kitchen!' I yelled back at Puck who had obviously just came into the house. Judging by 'Lezpez', he didn't know that Natalia was with me.

'What does 'Lezpez' mean?' Natalia asked innocently as Puck walked into the kitchen. I shot him a glare from the sink.

'Oh hey, kiddo, I didn't realise you were here,' Puck backtracked as he scruffed up Talia's hair. 'It's just a nickname I have for your Mama.'

'Can I call you Lezpez, Mami?' Natalia giggled as she tried to get away from Puck.

'No, Talia, Mami will do,' I told her sternly. I was going to fucking kill Puck. 'Why don't you go play outside while I talk to your Uncle?'

'Okay,' Natalia sighed as she climbed off her stool. That kid was always trying to eavesdrop.

'Get away while you can, Nat, your Mama's about to turn into the Hulk!' Puck shouted after her as she ran into the backyard.

I rolled my eyes at him as I began to dry Natalia's plate.

'What are you doing here, Puck? Apart from irritating me of course,' I asked him dryly.

'Sorry, sweet cheeks, is someone still hungover?' Puck teased me as he crept towards me.

'Get away, Puckerman!' I warned him as I hit him with the towel. 'Why are you really here?'

'Do I need a reason to visit my friend?' Puck asked me in mock surprise.

'Don't you have a pool to clean?' I shot back airily.

'Fine, I'm here to talk to you about yesterday,' he admitted. 'Quinn told me what happened with you and Brittany.'

'Of course she did,' I groaned as I put the now dry dish in the cupboard. 'What do you want to know?'

'Are you going to give Brittany another chance?' Puck asked me as he sat down across from where I was standing.

'God, not you too,' I groaned as I rolled my eyes. 'I told Quinn I'm not giving her another chance and that's the end of it. Anything you say to me won't change my mind.'

'Believe me, I don't agree with my wife,' Puck laughed as he looked back at me. 'Brittany had plenty of time to sort things out. She can't serve you with divorce papers then expect you to take her back.'

'Exactly!' I cried out as I threw my hands in the air. 'Why can't her and Quinn realise that?'

'You and Brittany were never really going to work out anyone,' Puck told me as he shook his head.

'What do you mean?' I asked him as I narrowed my eyes while I placed a beer in front of him.

'You were too different,' he shrugged as he leaned back and sipped his beer. 'You're blunt and Britt's not.'

'And why was that a problem?' I asked him harshly. I didn't know why but I was getting really annoyed by what he was saying. 'We balanced each other out.'

'Yeah but it gets to the point where the difference is too much. Brittany's head has always been in the clouds. She wanted a fairytale and when you couldn't give her it anymore she left,' Puck told me nonchalantly as he sipped that fucking beer.

'It was hardly a fairytale, Puck. She had to wait for years for me to stop boning you and to admit that I even had feelings for her,' I shot back at him.

'Well, I know that,' Puck replied quickly, 'it was Brittany that was too stupid to realise.'

'She's not stupid, Puck!' I shouted at him.

'Woah, calm down!' Puck shouted back at me as he held his hands up in defence. 'Why are you defending her anyway? You said yourself that you guys are over!'

He was right. Why was I defending her? It was me that had decided that we were officially over. She kissed and begged me to go back to her but I shot her down. Puck had said stuff about her ever since she left me so why was it only pissing me off now? _Wait..._

I couldn't be considering giving her a second chance. Could I?


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the delay, I've been working pretty much non stop. Hopefully this is enough to keep you all happy! x **

**Chapter Eleven**

I'd managed to control my anger really well since high school. When I left Lima for college, I realised that my normal rage act didn't go down well with people that didn't know me and I'd made a conscious effort to stay calm in situations where I would usually lose my rag. But right now, I was struggling.

Rachel had invited me to come round to her house once I'd finished work. She had to sign a contract regarding selling the rights to one of her screenplays and she wanted me to look over it. I wasn't her official lawyer but she wanted someone to look over it that really had only her interests at heart. Plus, she'd offered me a free meal so of course I'd agreed. However, I hadn't agreed to the ambush that I received half way through my pasta salad.

'So you left the party in a hurry on Saturday...' Rachel slyly slipped into our conversation about screen writing.

I groaned into my meal as I shoved another forkful of food into my mouth. Of course she would bring that up.

'I wasn't feeling it anymore,' I shrugged nonchalantly as I avoided her gaze. 'Thanks for taking Natalia to stay at your house.'

'It's fine, I didn't want her to see Brittany when she was in that state,' Rachel replied honestly.

'What state?' I questioned her as I looked up from my plate. I hadn't given any thought to how Brittany would act after I left. I knew Natalia had gone home to Finn and Rachel's instead of hers because she'd been upset but I hadn't really thought about _how_ upset she must have been. It must have been bad if Rachel had decided that Natalia should stay with her instead of Brittany.

'Didn't you see her? She was crying and kept saying that she was stupid and that she shouldn't have done it but she wouldn't say what 'it' was,' Rachel looked at me shocked. 'Weren't you with her before you left? I saw you guys go into the bathroom together.'

I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want to tell Rachel what happened. Ever since Brittany and I had separated, Quinn and Tina had taken sides but Rachel had always tried to stay neutral. Brittany obviously hadn't told her what had happened so I didn't want to drag Rachel into it. It would be breaking the unspoken rule that we didn't tell Rachel the nitty-gritty details of what was going on between us so that she could stay friends with both of us.

'Santana, did something happen? Is that why you left too?' Rachel asked me quietly as she looked up at me with those massive fucking brown eyes.

'It's really none of your business, Rachel,' I told her submissively.

'I'm not asking you to tell me what happened, I just want to make sure you're okay,' she pressed.

'I'm fine, Rachel, I'm fine. Don't I look fine?' I snapped back at her. I was starting to get really pissed off. Why was everyone trying to make me talk about what happened?

'Yes, you look fine, Santana, but you obviously weren't fine at the party,' Rachel babbled on.

'Rachel, that was four days ago,' I told her angrily. 'Whatever happened doesn't matter now, especially not to you.'

'Well actually, Santana, it does,' Rachel shot back at me. 'If two of my friends disappear together and one of them comes back distraught and the other runs away then I want to know what the hell happened!'

'It's none of your god damn business, hobbit!' I yelled back at her bitchily.

'Nice, Santana, be a bitch to me so that I leave you alone. Original,' Rachel rolled her eyes sarcastically.

'Fuck off, Rachel, I've made it obvious to you that I don't want to talk about it but you keep pushing it. Just drop it already.'

'Not until you tell me why you were both in such a mess!' Rachel cried out as she held her hands above her head in desperation. 'What did you do to her to make her that upset?'

'What did I do to her?' I asked Rachel in disbelief. So everyone thought it was my fault? Poor little Brittany being bullied by big mean Santana? I stood up from my chair and grabbed my bag. 'I can't deal with this right now, I'm leaving.'

'You can't just walk away from your problems, Santana!' Rachel yelled after me as she followed me into the hallway.

'Maybe you should have fucking told Brittany that three years ago and none of us would be in this fucking mess!' I yelled back at her twice as loud as I slammed the front door behind me.

* * *

><p>'What is wrong, mija? You look very pensive,' my mom asked me as she looked over at me from the sink as she was doing the dishes.<p>

'Just thinking about stuff,' I sighed as I looked down at the now cold tea in my cup.

'What kind of stuff?' she asked me as she looked over at me again. She left the sink and sat down across from me at the kitchen table when I didn't reply. 'Santana, tell me what is wrong. You are worrying me.'

I glanced over at Natalia playing in the living room with my dad. I could already tell that my mom wasn't going to let me drop it like I'd managed to get Rachel to earlier.

'It's Brittany, mom,' I told her quietly. 'She's messing with my head.'

'How so, mija? Is it the divorce?' My mom looked back at me sympathetically. I could tell she was worried for me to tell her why I was being so moody.

'Yeah,' I sighed as I looked up from my tea. My mom looked back at me expectantly. 'Well, she gave me the papers, right? We haven't signed anything yet but we're definitely getting divorced.'

'Yes...' My mom laughed when I didn't tell her more. 'Sweetheart, you are going to have to give me more than that if I am going to help you.'

'I didn't want to sign them until I knew why she wanted to finally make it official. She told me there was a specific reason but then I spoke to Kurt and he let slip that she's seeing someone, this guy called Brett.' I was interrupted before I could continue.

'Oh, Santana,' my Mom whispered as sadness swept her features. 'Do not think that you were just an experiment for Brittany because she is now with a man, she was so in love with you.'

'Mom, no,' I laughed as I swatted away her hands that were now holding my face. 'That's not it at all. I'm glad she's moved on, it's about time.'

'Well then why are you so confused?' My mom looked back at me confused.

'We were all at Kurt's house on Saturday for Amelia's birthday and Brittany asked to speak to me so we went to the bathroom. When we were in there she told me that the reason she left was because she was scared and that she wishes that she could go back and change what happened.'

'Of course she does, we all do, sweetheart,' my Mom sighed back. 'I always think of what I could have done differently.'

'You did enough, mom, there was nothing else you could have done for me,' I assured her as I took her hand. 'But Brittany was telling me this and then she kissed me. I tried to leave but she kept apologising and telling me that she loves me so I ran away.'

'Have you spoken to her since?' My mom asked me as she looked back at me concerned.

'No, but I'm supposed to drop Talia off at hers tomorrow,' I replied.

'Will you talk to her then?'

'I don't know,' I shrugged. 'I was planning on staying in the car.'

'You need to talk to her, mija,' my mom told me gently. 'You were both very confused when you separated and she obviously still is. Dating this man has obviously made her rethink whether leaving you was the right decision.'

I know but I don't want her to think that I'll go running back to her after all this tie,' I almost cried out. 'She broke my heart, mom.'

'I know she did, Santana,' my mom replied sympathetically as she rubbed my hand with hers. 'But I know that you still love her, no matter how much you try to hide it, and from what happened at the party, she obviously still loves you too. I think you owe it to each other, and Natalia, to talk it out and see how you are both feeling.'

I knew my mom was right, she always is. The idea of giving Natalia a stable home again tugged at my heartstrings but the thought of giving Brittany the chance to break me again terrified me. If anything was to happen, I would come out of it ten times worse than before. Did I really want to put myself in that position?

'Talking to her does not mean that you are giving her another chance,' my mom pushed. 'It will give you the chance to find out how she feels and then you can decide what you want to do after that.'

'You're right. I'll talk to her tomorrow when I drop Talia off.'


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

The drive to Brittany's house was quiet. Natalia must have sensed that I didn't want to talk and was silently amusing herself in the backseat. I was nervous about talking to Brittany and the feelings that it would stir up. Did I really want to give her a second chance? Would giving her the chance to explain make her think that I was willing to take her back?

I pulled up outside Brittany's house and took a deep breath. _It will be fine, it will be fine._

'Okay, mija, we're here,' I smiled at Natalia as I noticed she was already taking her seatbelt off.

'Are you coming in with me, mama?' Talia asked me as she saw me getting out of the car as well.

'I need to speak to your mommy, baby,' I told her as I locked the car and took her hand and led her to the front door.

'What about?' she asked me nosily as she rang the bell.

'Grown up stuff,' I laughed as she groaned beside me.

'Hey,' Brittany said quietly as she opened the door to look at me. 'What're you doing here?'

'Mommy!' Natalia cried as she jumped into Brittany's arms.

'Hey, baby,' Brittany smiled as she hugged Natalia. 'I missed you.'

'I missed you too,' Natalia told her as she pulled away from the hug. 'Mama says she needs to speak to you.'

'Okay, come in Santana,' Brittany said quietly as she moved away from the door so I could walk into the hallway. 'Talia, why don't you go play in your room while me and your mama talk?'

'Fine,' Natalia huffed as she stomped up the stairs, causing me and Brittany to laugh.

'Is the living room okay?' Brittany asked me once we heard Natalia's bedroom door shut.

'That's fine,' I told her as I followed her down the hall.

'If this is about what happened on Saturday, I want to apologise,' Brittany began once we'd both sat down. 'What I did was completely out of the blue and I don't blame you for running away.'

'It's fine, it just shocked me,' I told her honestly. I paused before I continued. 'What you said, Brittany, did you mean it? That you love me?'

'Yes,' Brittany told me bluntly. I was shocked by her honesty. 'I know that I've taken a long time to say it but I love you, Santana. I don't want to get divorced, I want to get back together.'

'Okay...' I replied slowly as I took in what she just said.

'And I know that you'll have doubts because of what I did last time, which I completely understand,' Brittany began as she looked me straight in the eyes without any signs of fear whatsoever. 'I'm not asking you to forgot, but I' asking you to forgive me so that we can move on together and be a family again.'

'What about Brett?' I asked her dumbly. It wasn't supposed to go like this. I was supposed to be in charge and instead I was looking at Brittany gormlessly while my mouth opened and closed like a fish.

'I broke up with him on Sunday,' Brittany replied quickly. 'I told him that it wasn't fair for me to be with him and lead him on when I still had feelings for him.'

'Wow...' I still had no idea what to say.

'I'm not expecting us to jump right back into a relationship, I know we'll have to take it slow but I want to try,' Brittany looked at me expectantly. 'Santana, do you have anything you want to say?'

'I'm not sure,' I told her honestly. 'I'm a bit surprised. _You_ left _me_, Britt.'

'I know, and I regret it every day,' Brittany told me, still confident as ever. 'I've always regretted it but being with Brett reinforced it to me. I want to be with you and no one else. Seeing you and Quinn together at the party made me remember how much fun the three of us used to have together. Leaving you was the dumbest thing I've ever done and I want to fix it and I won't stop trying until you let me.'

'I'm going to have to think about it, Britt,' I sighed as I looked at her. 'It's a lot to take in.'

'That's fine, I'll wait until you're ready,' Brittany told me firmly. 'But for now can we at least be friends? I miss not talking to you.'

'Sure,' I smiled meekly at her. 'Friends.'

_What the fuck?!_

* * *

><p>'You should have said more,' Quinn chastised me as we sat in front of the TV in her house.<p>

'You shouldn't have gone over at all,' Puck snorted as he shoved more chips into his mouth.

'And why not, Noah?' Quinn eyed him eating the chips with disgust. 'You're such an animal.'

'Leave me alone, woman,' he snapped back as he turned round on the sofa to look at us. 'She shouldn't have gone round because Brittany doesn't deserve a second chance. She had one and she blew it. Big time.'

'Think of all the times we broke up and got back together. Should I not have given you a second chance?' Quinn narrowed her eyes at him.

'I never walked out on you while you had post natal depression, then tried to divorce you two years later, only to turn around and say that I still loved you,' Puck countered her. 'She's messing Santana around and I don't like it.'

'Think about how Santana messed her around in high school though,' Quinn added.

'Yeah, but that wasn't because she didn't love her. She was scared,' Puck argued back.

'Yes, and Brittany left because she was scared too,' Quinn sighed exasperatedly.

'You guys!' I shouted from my place on the opposite couch to shut them up. 'I came here to ask for your advice, not so that you could argue about it in front of me!'

'Sorry, San,' Quinn apologised as she looked over at me. 'What do you want to do?'

'I honestly don't know,' I sighed. 'I love her and I want to give Natalia a real home but I'm terrified in case it goes wrong again.'

'That's completely understandable, S, but you can't live your life not doing things because you're scared of the consequences. I mean, if you had always lived like that you would have never even came out,' Quinn told me softly.

'Yes, but she has a child now, Quinn,' Puck argued before turning to me. 'Anything you do, especially this, is going to affect Natalia. She's old enough now for you two breaking up to do real damage to her.'

'I know, that's why I'm apprehensive,' I told him. 'But if it works out, it'll be the best thing I've ever done for her.'

'Well, I think that you should give it a try,' Quinn told me. 'You could keep it between yourselves at first until you're at a point where you feel like it's going to work and then you can tell people. Don't agree to anything until you've thought it through first though.'

'Well, I think that you shouldn't,' Puck told me angrily. 'That bitch ruined you once and I don't want to see her do it again.'

* * *

><p>'IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!'<p>

'Yes, Rachel, we know!' Quinn shouted back at an over excited Rachel. The few drinks she'd had were obviously already having an effect on her.

Today was Rachel's birthday and all the girls were going out to a club to celebrate. Yes, _all_ the girls. For the first time since Brittany and I had separated, one of our friends didn't have to do two separate events to celebrate. After Brittany had told Rachel that she was fine with me being there, Rachel had asked me the same thing. I couldn't say no, could I? That would make me the difficult one and Mercedes was only in town for a few days. That's why I was stood in Rachel's kitchen with Quinn, Mercedes, Kurt, Brittany and fucking_ Tina_ having pre-drinks.

'Leave her alone, Quinn, she's just excited,' Tina said not so jokingly as she glowered over at Quinn.

'I'll leave her alone, Tina as soon as you-' Quinn began angrily.

'Ladies!' Kurt interrupted quickly. 'It's Rachel's birthday, let's all be civil with each other for one night, please.'

'She started it,' Quinn mumbled as she moved to stand closer to me. 'Stupid bitch.'

'I heard that!' Tina shouted over from where she was sat at the kitchen table with Brittany.

'Good!' Quinn shouted back before she took a large gulp from her glass.

Much to Rachel and Kurt's disappointment, we'd split into camps. Quinn and I stood at the kitchen counter while Brittany and Tina sat at the table. Mercedes, Kurt and Rachel split their time in between us and tried desperately to get both groups to interact with each other.

'Why don't we play a game?' Mercedes suggested quickly before anything else could be said.

'Ooh, a game!' Rachel squealed excitedly as she turned her attention to Mercedes. 'A drinking game?'

'Of course, girl!' Mercedes replied. 'Quinn, Santana, come sit at the table and we'll start!'

I turned to look at Quinn and saw that she was as unimpressed as I was. The idea of 'bonding' with Tina Cohen Chang was not something that was high on either of our to-do list.

'Come on, you two,' Kurt sang as he ushered us to the table. 'Let's not make this anymore difficult than it needs to be.'

I sighed as I took my seat next to Rachel and Quinn sat beside me, Brittany and Tina across from me. By the looks on their faces, they didn't want to do this either.

'Isn't this nice? Okay, what about 'I have never'?' Rachel asked excitedly as she looked around us and saw all of our uncomfortable expressions. 'Okay, I'll begin. I have never... had sex in the auditorium at McKinley!'

'Oh, gross!' Kurt cried out as everyone took a drink except for him. 'You all got it on in the auditorium?!'

'It's exciting being on the stage,' Brittany shrugged as she took her glass away from her lips while shooting me a look which I returned.

'I skidded on my knees along those floors,' Kurt whined as Mercedes laughed and gave him a pat on the back.

'I have never...' Quinn began then pursed her lips while she paused. 'Had sex in Mr Shue's car.'

'God, Quinn!' Kurt squealed before he quickly drank from his glass. 'That was a secret!'

'There are no secrets in 'I have never',' Quinn told him jokingly.

'Mr Shue's car?' I snorted as Kurt looked back at me embarrassed.

'He left it in my dad's shop once,' Kurt mumbled as he avoided my gaze.

'Wanky,' I laughed as I took in his expression. 'Okay, I have never made out with Blaine.'

'What is this, the 'get Kurt drunk' game?' Kurt cried out as he drank again. 'Do not make yours about me, Brittany, please. I already feel drunk and we've not even gone out yet.'

'I won't,' Brittany laughed as she waited for Kurt to finish his drink. 'I have never been to Europe.'

'Great, one that's finally not about me that I wish was,' Kurt scowled as he watched a few of us drink.

'Quit moaning, Kurt,' Mercedes laughed. 'Tina, it's your turn.'

'I have never been married,' Tina said before we all drank. 'See, nice and easy for all of us.'

'My turn!' Mercedes smiled. 'I have never been suspended.'

'Only just, Wheezy!' I shouted as Quinn and I drank. 'You're lucky Mr Schue saved you after you put those tots in Coach Sylvester's car.'

'Very lucky, Mercedes, very lucky,' Rachel slurred as she poured herself another glass of wine.

'Okay, I have never slept with Puck!' Kurt laughed as he yelled out.

'Oh God,' Quinn groaned as she, Brittany and I drank. 'Nice one, Kurt.'

'Revenge, Fabray,' Kurt giggled as he looked at Quinn.

'My turn again!' Rachel cried out as she stuck her hand in the air. 'I have never accused the valet guy of changing my CDs!'

'Oh for fuck's sake, Rachel,' I groaned as I drank. 'Did we really have to bring that up?'

'It was hilarious, Santana,' Rachel laughed as Quinn chuckled quietly beside me.

'What happened?' Brittany asked me amused.

'Quinn, Rachel and I went to the mall a while ago and I left my car with the valet. When I got it back, the CD was different. It was incredibly unprofessional so I told him so,' I shrugged as I took another sip of my wine.

'In incredibly harsh Spanish!' Quinn told Brittany as she laughed out loud. 'You went insane!'

'He had no reason to be changing my CDs!' I argued back as everyone laughed.

'Typical, Santana,' Tina laughed. 'Losing your rag over pointless things.'

'What the h-' I began angrily.

'Okay, you're turn again Quinn,' Mercedes said quickly before I could continue.

'I have never...hmm,' Quinn tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked around us all before stopping when she got a mischievous glint in her eyes. _This was going to be good_. 'I have never made out with Mike.'

Damnnn...

Tina glared as Quinn, Brittany and I drank. I waited to see if Quinn would stop smirking at Tina to pick up on who wasn't drinking.

'Okay, Santana, you're turn,' Kurt sang nervously.

'Come on, Rachel, you're holding us up,' Quinn said cheerfully as she slapped Rachel's arm.

'What?' Tina gasped as she turned to face Rachel.

'Tina, it really was quite a long time ago and you two weren't together,' Rachel explained quickly as she shot Quinn a pleading look. Unfortunately, Quinn didn't look like she was going to help her as she leaned back in her chair.

'Why didn't you ever tell me?' Tina demanded as she looked at Rachel.

'I really didn't think it-' Rachel began.

'CABS ARE HERE!' Puck yelled as he and Finn came into the kitchen with a few empty bottles of beer.

'Thank God,' Rachel whispered as she quickly stood up. 'Let's go, girls!'

I shot Quinn a quick smirk as we all stood up to get our bags. Tina did not look happy.

'Rachel, Quinn and Santana go in one and Brittany, Mercedes, Tina and I will go in the other!' Kurt cried out over the top of us as he ran out the front door.

'Hey, Santana!' Brittany called out to me as I walked towards the hallway.

'Yeah, Britt?' I asked her as I turned around.

'Have you thought about it yet?' Brittany asked me quietly as everyone else walked round us looking curious.

'I need more time, Britt,' I told her honestly.

'That's fine,' she replied quietly. 'I'll be here when you're ready.'

I sighed as she walked round me to go to the driveway.

'Call me if you need me to come get you,' Puck told me firmly as he walked up beside me. 'No matter what time it is.'

'Thanks, Puck,' I told him gratefully.

'Hurry up, Santanananananana!' Quinn yelled out the cab window. I laughed as I ran out the door to get in beside her.

'Have a good night!' Puck yelled after me.

I intended to have a good night. However, at a club with Brittany and a group of 'friends' who hadn't all spoken to each other for a few years, I didn't know if it would be possible.


End file.
